This week is all about "the dark side of modeling," so we get an actress being fake-mean to the girls, as Janice Dickinson plays a brutal agent, talking about the good old days, when she fell off the runway and into Sophia Loren's lap, and Tyra and the rest of the judges being meaner than usual to the girls at Panel. Jade surprisingly keeps her cool best with the fake-mean agent (who apparently read the ANTM forums for research), and, therefore, wins yet another challenge. She picks Nnenna to share in the prize, which is a visit from a loved one. Or, in Nnenna's case, her boyfriend John. At a shoot for Pantene, the girls dress up as different types of dolls, and later they work with Tyra on a shoot in which they have to cry (with the help of a tear stick) but remain beautiful. But the real action comes halfway through the episode, when Jay announces that the girls are all getting trips to the dentist. Most are just having their teeth whitened, but Danielle and Joanie are slated for more work -- a gaposcopy and snagglectomy, respectively. Watching Joanie's plight, we are all reminded about just how gross and horrible dentistry is, as she has four teeth pulled and the rest filed down for veneers. Watching the procedure makes me want to throw up, but the results are pretty good. Danielle, on the other hand, refuses to have her gap filled, saying that she loves it, because it's part of what makes her who she is. I think this is awesome of her, but the judges disagree. Nonetheless, it is Jade, whose totally fake display of emotion at Panel the judges see right through, who lands in the final two with an ultimately doomed Brooke. Brooke is finally so wrong, she's wrong, and is sent packing.
Previously: Nnenna verbally bitch-slapped her whiny loser boyfriend on the phone over and over again, until we hated them both. More. Jade swirled and twirled to success on the runway and krumped like a whore worthy of Charlie Sheen to impress all with her photo shoot. And Leslie of the weird posture and boring edit was sent home. Seven bitches remain! And one of them will be approximately one snaggletooth lighter at the end of the hour.
The bitches hang out at the House of Haunted Headless Horror after eliminations. Joanie interviews that she's been getting praise from Tyra, and that her krumping photo was amazing. She's proud of herself, and notes that she finally "came out number one." Unlike, say, in her fifth-grade English class. Brooke, on the other hand, notes that Tyra has said that none of her photos has come out well. Except for that last one, which the judges loved, remember? Oh, suspicious edit, how I recognize thee instantly. Brooke thinks that she needs to step it up.
In news that will totally shock you, Nnenna is on the phone with her loser boyfriend, John. He says that he never accused her of anything, and only told her that he was hurt. Oh, yay, another loving and rational conversation. Furonda tells us that Nnenna and John are having some problems, which all started when Nnenna kissed Vaughn, the male model on the "career day" photo shoot. I have a feeling that the problems started way before that -- perhaps when John hit puberty, and the first hairs of his scraggly moustache made their entrance into this world. John yells that he was feeling bad because he missed Nnenna, dammit. Nnenna interviews that her problem with John is that he misses her and doesn't know how to deal with it. I think what she means to say is that he's a needy fink. Nnenna says that she realizes there's nothing she can do about it, because John's at home and she's there. Well, she could maybe stop calling him, or at least do so under the cover of darkness, so that we didn't have to see it every freaking episode. If I want to see a bad relationship play out, I'll just unpack some repressed memories from my childhood, thanks. Furonda says that Nnenna needs to resolve this shit, or it's going to affect her performance in the competition.
The girls head to Strausberg Advertising and Design, where they meet photographer Jeff Lorch. He says that they're standing in the building of one of the world's most influential ad agencies, and are going to have the opportunity to meet one of the industry's most sought-after creative directors. It then appears that he says that "de priest," who they are going to meet, has launched the career of many a top model. And, I guess when you think about it, a lot of models kind of look like prepubescent boys, so this makes sense, sort of. Jeff then says that he'll take their portfolios back to "de priest," and that the girls will go to a back room to meet with "de priest" one on one. And then de priest and de rabbi walk into a bar. Jeff says, we learn from the girls, that they are there for a potential commercial booking. Nnenna interviews that she's usually pretty comfortable and confident in an interview situation. She is first to meet de priest, who is, in fact, only a priest if priests are, in fact, crazy middle-aged lady bitches. And if that is true, then I guess they all report to Pope Janice Dickinson. Turns out, it's actually a woman named Deprise.