America's Next Top Model
America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
Potes: A- | 557 USERS: C+
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I Just Called To Say "I Hate You"

In Dani(elle)'s life as a Cover Girl, she has a go-see at new ANTM sponsor Seventeen magazine. And what does an aspiring model wear to a go-see? Why, Cover Girl Wetslicks, of course. Dani(elle) says, "It gives me a high-beam shine, but at the same time it feels like a balm." Feels like a balm, shines like a beacon. Nothing about smelling like cupcakes? I'm disappointed. As I'm sure you predicted, Dani(elle) is going to be in the magazine. She says in a Ben Stein-esque painful monotone, "I'm so excited, you don't understand." What happened to the charismatic Dani(elle) we loved? I think that the little-publicized fourth component of the Top Model winner's prize is actually a lobotomy.

We return to more bitchery about Monique. Melrose says that everyone needs to stop responding to Monique. Brooke says that eventually she'll get so fed up of being the most hated girl in the house that it will be miserable for her to be there. Oh, please. Monique feeds off of that shit. Monique interviews something unintelligible, but infuriating nonetheless.

There is Tyra Mail. "It's time to wig out, pump up the volume, and get amped. Can you handle it, baby?" Anchal looks unsure as to whether she can handle it.

The girls guzzle their way to Siren Studios, where they meet Jay Manuel. He notes that Eugena won the Queen challenge, and that she, Jaeda, and Caridee will have a photo shoot. This happens. Jaeda ironically looks even more manly in a girly white dress. Eugena notes that the others might be a little jealous, but that she really doesn't care. Eugena's half-hearted efforts to be the season's biggest bitch really aren't panning out so well.

Jay says that it's time for the funnest photo shoot ever. They have flown in some special guests to do some of the most crazy, outrageous hair that the world has ever seen. Jay tells us about hair shows, like Hair Wars, that feature giant, crazy wigs, often with moving parts. This is what the girls must face today. The theme for the day is "Does the hair wear you, or do you wear the hair?" Jay introduces the team of Weavologists: Mr. Little, Lisa B., and Weavin' Steven, who in fact looks like a gayer, whiter, yet wanting to be blacker Stephen Baldwin. The weavologists set to task, with some crazy results.

America's Next Top Model

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