Makeovers! And this time, the makeovers come to the models. Frederick Fekkai sets up shop in the girls' living room, to varying results. Megg gets some whack extensions, Brooke goes dark, the twins go red, Anchal transitions from a twohead to a three-point-five-head, Eugena and CariDee get big hair, Megan goes even more pixie, Melrose goes blonde (and not without some complaining), A.J. looks mostly the same but complains about it anyway, Jaeda cries and cries like a baby en route to a Halle Berry cut, and Monique has a mini-breakdown because nobody's ever seen her without her weave before. Bitch, please. After seven seasons, the Jays are just about through with the whining. I think we can all take a moment, no matter how we feel about Sirs Manuel and Alexander, to sympathize. The girls have perhaps the stupidest challenge ever, which entails getting dolled up in prom gowns and Cover Girl makeup while riding an elevator. Nearly redeeming the challenge is the radiant Queen Latifah, who really sets the standard for closeted celebrities everywhere. Against popular logic, Eugena wins. Monique is disqualified and doesn't get to meet the Queen, and she takes out her anger by spending three and a half consecutive hours on the phone. Everyone hates her, which I'm sure comes as a huge surprise. Eventually it is mild-mannered Anchal who tells her off. Well done! For the week's photo shoot, a team of weaveologists, one of whom is perhaps Stephen Baldwin, gives the girls some dragalicious hair. In the end it is Megan who is sent home, which should be no surprise to those of you familiar with the "first on the phone gets axed" school of editing. Sad times abound.
Previously: there were thirteen girls. Monique was one of them. She pretended to pee on someone else's bed. Michelle was another. She rocked her photo bulimic-style. Melrose was another. She got a little bit of a diva attitude. Christian was another. She's gone and, honestly, totally forgotten. Who will join her in the land of semi-attractive has-beens tonight? The answer may dismay you.
It is night in Los Angeles. Michelle and Megan practice their runway walks in their in-house runway. I totally want one of those. However, if I had a life-sized runway in my house, I would surely never ever get a recap done. Or go to my real job. Or see my friends. Or sleep. But I would achieve a level of fierceness heretofore not known to man, so it would all be worth it. Anyway, Michelle says that she loves Megan, thinks she has a great personality, and has gotten really close to her. So says the tomboy twin. Mmm-hmm. Megan interviews that even though she and Michelle are competing, it's as it should be that they practice together and try to help each other make it to the top. Of a big lesbian love pile. Not that I'm complaining, except that no one is helping me to make it to the top of a big lesbian love pile, and I'm jealous.
Meanwhile, Melrose cleans the kitchen. What's up with her and the kitchen? She confessionalizes that she's just happy still to be there, and has been thinking a lot about Christian today, and how Melrose is glad she's not her. We flash back to Melrose dropping to the floor at judging. And you know, Melrose kind of sucks, but in all fairness, she really pales in comparison to the abscess of suck that is Monique. So even though I find her annoying, I can't be too harsh on her because there are bigger bitches to fry. Melrose says that maybe the judges saw potential in her. Potential to cause drama and, I am guessing, to spar with Monique. Poor Christian never stood a chance. Melrose says that she's going to work her ass off.
Meanwhile, Monique and Eugena are in the hot tub. There's a meeting of the minds. Also, shouldn't they be punching each other or something? What is there to count on anymore in this world if Eugena has befriended the person who stole her bed under pretense of incontinence? Monique makes fun of Melrose, calls her a baby, and then says that Melrose is the person that she can stand least in the house. That brings the total of that category to Melrose 1, Monique 11.