America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Hates Her Hair

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Potes: B+ | Grade It Now!
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I Just Called To Say "I Hate You"

Then there is Fucking A.J. After getting her hair dyed, she says that they have to make it darker, and that she hates the color. A.J. says that she was in shock when she first saw her new look, that the color is still too light for her, and that she's not a smooth girl -- she likes spikes. Okay, her hair looks almost exactly the same, but less ratty. Which is totally an improvement! Shut up, Emo Philips. When did she get so annoying and whiney?

Jay is totally pissed, which you can tell because he has turned red-orange. Then there is Monique, who yells out, "Why?" in a dramatic fashion (quelle surprise) as the stylist takes out her existing weave. Miss J. notes to Jay Manuel that Monique is upstairs crying, and that if she wants to cry, they should just let her cry. Another guy tells Jay that Monique said that nobody's ever seen her without her weave. HA! Jay is all, "Bitch, please," and points to a cornrowed picture of Tyra without her weave. Eventually, the Jays go upstairs to deal with Monique. She says that she's having a bad day and something about the alarms going off in the morning and blah blah blah same-old-shitcakes. Jay tells her that she's getting a French hair weave from a master stylist, and that if she doesn't want to hear the alarm, she should wear earplugs. I never thought I'd say this, but I kind of love Jay right now. ["I said that too! He's totally grown on me; the more they keep him away from Tyra, the more he's a total bitch and not just a sycophantic toady." -- Wing Chun] Jay tells us that it disgusts him to see these girls who supposedly wanted to be here so badly toss off insults about their new looks. It also makes Jay not want to be there. And despite loving him at this minute, I just got a little flicker of hope for Season 8.

Jay calls the girls together and basically tells them to shove their whining in their collective skinny ass. He says that A.J. and Monique and any other whiners are being insulting to Frederic Fekkai, master stylist, and that they are not only insulting their guests, but also Tyra. He says that he's over it and is going home to sleep. Oh, come on! Slap someone before you go! And make it A.J., who sees fit to snicker at this moment. Commercials.

When we return, Megan is in a bikini and on the phone with her girlfriend. Yay, girlfriend! But boo first phone call home of the episode! As soon as I saw this, I was distressed. But no matter, because Megan looks kind of hot and porny. Megan's girlfriend says that she's always wanted Megan to have white-blonde hair, and that she's proud of her. Awww, lesbian love is the best! Megan tells her girlfriend that several of the girls were crying and complaining, and got bawled out.

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America's Next Top Model

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