America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Impresses Pedro

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The Girl Who's Not No Fucking Lesbo
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: Jael was stupid enough to piss off 50 Cent, who threw her into a pool fully clothed, and Natasha was doubly stupid enough to jump in the pool of her own volition. The two of them had to meet with super-manager Benny Medina while they were sopping wet. Trust me when I say that B. Med was not having that. Renee finally came to the realization that everyone hated her, and Tyra had a little "Hating Renee Roundtable" in which everyone put forth their reasons why. And, in an elimination that will surprise no one, Sarah went home. Seven bitches remain!

We begin with the girls in their big-ass limo, heading home from the last elimination. Whitney says that she wouldn't have bet on being in the bottom two tonight. Whitney apparently never actually looks at her own pictures. Or listens to what the judges say. I mean, I like the girl a lot, but it's becoming clear that she can't really model. Whitney tells us that she's going into this week full throttle. And, just like the sequel to the Charlie's Angels remake, the results are bound to be disappointing.

Meanwhile, Renee is listening to a recording of her husband saying that he loves her, and that he and their baby, Troy, miss her very much. Renee says that he's trying to cheer her up, but that she's feeling really depressed. Maybe he should try to cheer her up by not being homeless for a change. She says that she's done things to offend the girls, but that is not her intent. And I mean, I hope this rehabilitation thing works and all, but Renee knows that she's a bitch. I think she should drop the whole "Oh I didn't mean to offend you by saying your face looks like an asscrack" line of defense and just own it. Anyway, Renee is going to try to be more sensitive.

Jaslene interviews that, ever since they had the talk with Tyra, things actually have changed. Oh God, they're still talking about Renee? We cut to the kitchen, where Renee asks Dionne if she's making hot cocoa. Dionne interviews that, at this point, it's hard to trust Renee or believe anything that she says. This apparently includes her recipe for hot cocoa, since Dionne walks away from the stove as soon as Renee starts stirring it. You know Renee was like, "One tablespoon of rat poison keeps that weird skin from forming on top!" We then cut to Jael, who says that Renee wrote her a letter saying that she's sorry for the ways she's treated Jael and all the other girls. Jael interviews that she knows Renee is an actress and can turn it on and off, but that doesn't mean that she wasn't genuine in her apology. Jael puts the letter on her wall, perhaps next to the drawing of her in a straitjacket that Renee made the last time she went through personality rehab. Step 1 is Knowing You're A Bitch.

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America's Next Top Model

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