America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Impresses Pedro

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The Girl Who's Not No Fucking Lesbo

When we return to Miauhaus, Natasha looks like hell. She says that she is very upset. Jay approaches her at the coffee table, and tells her that it's a competition, and some girls will have prize wins while others won't. In other words, buck up, Pinko Commie. Natasha tells him that her heart hurts. Jay hopes that Natasha can put her feelings aside, because as a model, you have to be able to work in a professional environment. Jay, of course, points to Tyra, paragon of saintliness, who has to travel all across the world and be away from her family. Yeah, but we've met her family, and Mama Banks seems nowhere near as wee and cute as little Angelina. Jay tells Natasha that it's not going to get easier. Natasha interviews that the day is tough for her, but that she's going to soldier forth in the competition and not just "stop on the half way."

Quite awesomely, Natasha's shoot has her re-enacting the time when everyone thought Michelle had flesh-eating bacteria. Oh, those truly were the scabby, good old days! Michelle enters, and she also looks good, even though all of her post-show activity would now indicate that she has an incurable case of the cooties. Natasha is irrationally excited to see her. She hardly says a word, though. Natasha rocks all the red dots on her face. At one point, she is lounging all over Michelle's lap, which Michelle enjoys. Jay says that he's proud of what Natasha brought to the set today in terms of energy. At the beginning of the day, she was visibly upset, but she worked like a professional model. Jay gives her a big hug, and Natasha forgets all about the little brat at home.

Whitney is next, and is dressed only in a white, fluffy towel. She says that she knows her pictures aren't as strong as those of the other girls, but she can't get hung up on that. She's going to get in there, try not to overanalyze it, and have fun. We see the clip of Whitney's infamous incident, and she cracks up when she gets a look at a black-haired Mr. Jay. He tells her to shut up. In the clip, he's telling the girls that they have to pose nude, which leads to Robin telling Shannon, "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything." Oh, see, I would have gone for "Hooooow...Ex! Cellent!" and the prayer circle. That was some good shit. In any case, Shannon, who refused to pose nude, comes out. Her teeth have not shrunk one bit over the years! I am really sad that it's not Robin, because I think a shot of that kind of crazy amidst the Top Model Cycle 8 girls could wield some fantastic results. Jay tells Whitney to give more than her usual 80%. Matthew tells her to change her expression once in a while, before interviewing that Whitters needs some more time in the mirror.

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America's Next Top Model

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