America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Is A Lady Kat. Reow!

Episode Report Card
Potes: B | Grade It Now!
Normal Is Boring

When we return, the remaining twenty girls learn that they are in charge of their first photo shoot, which will take place in one of those booths like you see at the mall. And trust me, this is going to be the best art direction we get all season, so enjoy it. Hideous Christina the Head Louse says she thinks the judges want them to get in the photo booth and show their personalities. This bodes poorly for her, since her personality sucks. The girls clown around and are nervous. Brittany gets in the booth and pouts out her collagen lips. Lady Kat looks insane. Tiffany says that her pictures came out messed up. Wait till The Dowager Jay gets a hold of you, honey. Naima says that this was her first opportunity to size up the competition, and that she wants to give something dynamic. Estela imitates poses from other girls that she hopes will disguise the fact that she is pre-op. More posing. Sarah says that the little machine takes good pictures.

And now, it is time for the Jays and Tyra to narrow the bunch down to the final fourten. Jay Manuel is totally wearing a "men on film" hat. He's the worst. Jay says that Keenyah was a little flat. Tyra says that not everybody has to be crazy, and that she, for example, is not crazy. The Jays give "Yeah, right" looks. Tyra's crazy about cheesecake, that's for sure! Miss J. says that Tatiana is a bit rough around the edges, but Tyra says that anyone who can take fierce photos in a photo booth deserves a second look. Tyra says that Jennifer has a horrible runway walk, which she likes, because it gives them a lot to work with. On Kahlen, Jay says, "There's something I like about a girl who doesn't know what she's doing, because that means there's the potential to really teach her something." That's exactly what Tyra just said, you idiot. I wonder if he's part of some sort of lobotomy resocialization program.

Miss J. loves Lluvy's Shelley Duvall meets Liza Minnelli look, but The Dowager Jay thinks she's pear-shaped. Tyra thinks that Noelle pops with brightness and shine from within. Or, more aptly, from her messed-up female parts. Jay says, "But Tyra, can I say no?" Tyra says, "OOOOOOOOOOH." I have this feeling that Noelle and her disease might be around for a while. Jay says that Brittany looks exactly like post-surgery Janice Dickinson. I'm not sure if that's a good thing. Tyra thinks that Naima is edgy, but Miss J. wonders if they can take it further. On Manly Michelle, Miss J. says, "You know how I feel about no-neck monsters." Hee! Jay says that she has a neck, but she doesn't know how to carry herself. That girl has shoulders like a truck driver, though.

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America's Next Top Model




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