America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Is A Lady Kat. Reow!

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Normal Is Boring

Next is Tatiana, eighteen, from Maui, Hawaii. And I am mad about Tatiana, because she looked so pretty in her photos on the UPN website, but in person is kind of gross, particularly when she opens her mouth. She has a certain "Where'd I put my teeth?" look about her, which is really only appropriate if you're Grampa Simpson. Tatiana says that she heard a commercial for casting on the radio, and spent all of her rent money on a plane ticket. She's very determined, and also left high school but plans to get a GED. Wow, plans to get a GED and be on a reality show? Along with kind of a huge ass? That's what I'd call an overachiever! The judges like her.

Then there's Estela, twenty-two, from the Bronx. And if you thought Michelle might have been transgendered, you should get a good look at Estela. She seriously jumped right out of Paris Is Burning. She thinks that being on ANTM will help her to create a better life for her and her three-year-old daughter. Oh, not another one of those. Estela tells the panel that she married young and that her baby was born out of love, and then all of a sudden her husband put them out on the street in the middle of February. They went to the shelter, which had no sheets and was full of bedbugs, and obviously she was very poor. As one might imagine, it was bad times. But it still doesn't change the fact that she's ugly. Estela says that she's getting stronger every day. Jay says that she might be a diamond in the rough. I say she might have a hidden package. ["'Hidden'?" -- Wing Chun] Estela says that the competition is like a fight for her, and that she wants to win it for her daughter. Once she has her foot in the door, she won't get it out. And if that doesn't work, she'll force open the window with her Adam's apple. Commercials.

When we return, the girls are enjoying cake to celebrate the birthdays of two semi-finalists. Suddenly, a do-rag wearing Lady Kat stands on a table and starts yelling "Hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up!" in an obnoxious manner. Sarah mocks her by yelling "Quiet down, quiet down, quiet down, quiet down!" in an equally obnoxious manner. Lady Kat says, "Redhead, I don't know your name. That was rude." Some words are exchanged. Estela says that they all need to find a happy place, and that Lady Kat is a handful. Sarah says that Lady Kat is a crazy freak who needs to stay away from her or else risk getting slapped. Lady Kat tells a group of girls that no one should try to tell her that her personality is right or wrong. I bet she gets very few "right"s. Tiffany tells us that, watching the two of them, she thought about how she used to act. She shakes her head knowingly. Reformed Tiffany sucks! And I'm sorry, but that whole scene was no "Bitch poured beer on my weave." I want a refund!

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America's Next Top Model

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