America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Is A Model, Not A Masseuse

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Potes: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
No, No, Nnenna

Jade is next, and despite the lovely mermaid outfit, I am not at all convinced that she wants to be part of our world. Jay says that frame after frame is pretty. He asks Jade when she learned how to model and become soft. Jade says that she's listening, watching, and learning. Jade interviews that she doesn't know why she keeps landing in the bottom two, but that she's coming back with a vengeance. Sometimes Jade really rocks the photo shoots and challenges. It's disheartening. Or, as Jade would say, "disenhardenening." Jay says that Jade was always hard, but now knows how to look soft, which is a difficult feat when you're hanging upside down, or made of flesh-colored plasticine. He's impressed.

Sara is next, and her hair is in kind of a crazy Mohawk. Jay directs her, and says that she looked like a scared guppy in the first twenty frames, but that once she got it together she started looking like a model. I think part of it is just getting the hang of hanging from a big-ass net. It's really not a natural position whether or not you were found in a mall. Sara is trying to learn and get better, and to show her desire to be a model and be in the competition.

Meanwhile, Furonda complains about everything from the harness to her costume to the stinky water and nasty fish. She says that she just wants to get through it so she can get back to her air-conditioned trailer. Sara says that she's been turned off by Furonda's diva attitude, and that you need to get over yourself if you're going to be in the modeling industry. The pain of the shoot is showing in Furonda's face, and Jay says that she looks like fish bait. She really has a hard time getting it together.

Joanie is next, and espouses her love for Banana Boat products. Jay tries to direct her, and Joanie says that she feels like she's going to throw up because she just drank a lot of coffee. Jay asks us why, if you knew you were going to be "inverted upside down," you would drink a whole cup of coffee. I think perhaps one Mr. Coffee Nerves has struck again! Perhaps a small cup of Postum will rectify the situation. Joanie gets over her nausea, but then has to face another foil: her boobs are falling out of the mermaid costume. Yes! Another point for the boobless. Not that I'm counting. She interviews that just wearing a strapless top is considered overexposure to most Thai women, and that she doesn't want to offend anyone with her vulgar displays of mer-flesh. Jay says that he couldn't see the pain in Joanie's face, and that she has a nice, soft expression. She turned it out and looked great. The Thai boat women clap as Joanie is hoisted back to land.

Back at the Thai Palace, there is Tyra Mail. Someone is going home. Jade says thatshe has no idea who is the most vulnerable. Nnenna says that she doesn't know what will happen at the elimination. She thinks that her shoot went well, so she isn't too worried. Hubris, meet Foreshadowing. Jade says in conversation with Nnenna that the world will be very upset if they leave. The sound of "Ha!" echoing throughout the various nations of our planet leads us into commercials.

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America's Next Top Model

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