America's Next Top Model
America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
Potes: A- | 593 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Somebody Does, In Fact, Put Wendy in the Corner

When we return, Furonda verifies that she feels fabulous and beautiful with her new hair. Jade asks Furonda how she's going to wear her crown, which is I guess what she calls the fluffy tiara. Furonda kindly says that Jade can wear it, which I guess technically doesn't violate Rule #3, since Jade didn't ask for the crown. Jade says that she wouldn't be caught dead in the crown. She interviews that she felt confident coming into the competition, but then she points to her hair (or, one might conjecture, her face) and says, "But to pull this off? Dude." Furonda and Jade continue their little dance of "I didn't even know you were a bitch." Furonda says that people have always hated that they can't get under her skin. Jade says that hate is a strong word. Agreed, but it is nonetheless appropriate whenever Jade is involved.

Meanwhile, Sara is on the phone with her boyfriend. She cries about her hair and calls it ridiculous. It is.

The girls go to the Gen Art fashion show. Real models walk and yet again remind us what a farce ANTM is. Wendy -- who looks a lot like a cross between Jennifer Beals and Toucan Sam -- says that she drifted away from the fashion show for a bit, because New Orleans was on her mind. The girls head backstage, where they get to rifle through the clothes racks and find their outfits. Jade says that she was still adjusting to the way she looked, and adds that she doesn't even look like she belongs on this planet. Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune and Pluto all say, "Not it," in unison. Sara isn't sure about her style, and looks around in vain for hot pants. Take a trip in Furonda's time machine and maybe you'll be able to find them, sweetie.

Then, the worst thing happens. The girls head to a different location where they meet Rachel Zoe, anorexic stylist to all the anorexic stars. And I must say that, though I do a lot of shit-talking about ribs and such, I do kind of admire Tyra for her whole stance about real women's bodies and her willingness to, you know, actually eat. So I find it really strange that she has this leathery bag of bones on her show. She is terrifying. ["Not just leathery and skinny, but also the most mutton-dressed-as-a-lamb slag I have seen since Gale Leery. Someone needs to style Rachel Zoe in an outfit appropriate to her advanced age." -- Wing Chun] Rachel Zoe tells the girls that they each have fifteen minutes to put together their hair, makeup, and wardrobe. But they will have a little help...from Season 4 winner Naima. Good to see they're keeping her busy. Naima looks positively hulking next to Rachel Zoe. Like, she looks like she pulled Rachel Zoe out of her foot with a pair of tweezers. She does a little spiel about makeup, and tells the girls that today they'll be using the Queen Collection, Cover Girl's new line of makeup for women of color. Because there's nothing to make us forget about Naima's utter lack of success like putting Joanie in blackface. The winner of the competition gets a $5,000 shopping spree at Nanette Lepore. Good prize.

America's Next Top Model

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP