America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Is A True Miss Diva

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Somebody Does, In Fact, Put Wendy in the Corner

Sara is first and does so-so.

Nnenna tries to think of the hot desert, with limited success. Jay says that her face and body seemed shocked. Isn't that the point?

Richard says that Mollie Sue has a really cool look, but that he'd like to see more range out of her.

Danielle looks like a regular-sized Toccara. Jay tells her she occasionally looks like a ho. Don't we all.

Jay asks for more of a fashion-y look from Joanie.

Jay tells Wendy to think it, feel it, and be fierce to avoid the vacant look of last week. He says he's concerned about the way Wendy's state of mind reads on her face.

Kari is next, and her head is customarily huge.

Leslie freezes up a little in the face.

Meanwhile, backstage, Jade tells Kari and Nnenna that they're beautiful and elegant, and says that she wants to be beautiful, too. Well, too late. Kari tells us what we already know -- that beneath Jade's tough and crazy exterior, there is actually only crazy.

Gina is next and looks frozen. She asks Jay what she's doing wrong, and he says something totally unhelpful, as usual.

Brooke is good at exuding sex appeal devoid of sleaziness. She is also a bit more fully clothed than the others.

Jade says that she didn't feel beautiful because of her makeup, so she really just stood there in a bathing suit "half-ass naked." From what we've seen, half-ass naked is her niche, so I don't know why she's complaining. Jay says that Jade was the epitome of an ice princess.

Jade once again gets nasty and says she wants to see Miss Furonda the Diva pose. Furonda the Honda. Furonda the transponda. Like, what do you rhyme with "Furonda"? Furonda ostensibly does a good job, or at least better than the last photo shoot. She still looks kind of funky, but she has proven herself to be such a worthy NOJ (nemesis of Jade) that a bit of not-so-ugly might have steeped into her face.

Back at the Disembodied Lodge, there is more Tyra Mail. One unlucky lady will be going home. Furonda says that she knows it's possible for her, or anyone, to be going home. But please let it not be her or Jade. I want them to be together long enough to come to blows! Commercials.

It is time for judging! Tyra commends the girls on their makeovers, which they technically had nothing to do with. There are prizes, there are judges. Nigel tells the girls that they look beautiful. J. Alexander points to his t-shirt, which reads "12." A gimmick in search of a gimmick is always so sad. Stupid Rachel Zoe is the guest judge. Tyra tells the girls that, this week, they learned how to shoot a magazine cover. She adds that a cover model must make a connection with a person walking by the newsstand and get that person to buy the magazine. And what better way to sell the magazine, Tyra says, than by showing some ass? Er, she actually says, "Than by putting your name on that cover." And it is true that if I saw "FURONDA" written in large font on the cover of Vogue, I might at least take a flip through.

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America's Next Top Model

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