High Flying, Unadored

America's Next Top Model

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Potes: B | Grade It Now!

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High Flying, Unadored

By Potes | Season 9 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.16.2007

In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

This week is all about trying to kill the girls, to which I say, tally ho! Apparent new regular Benny Ninja is at the helm of two-thirds of the attempts, the first being when he teaches them about posing with movement on a trampoline. Isn't the trampoline at least as dangerous as horseshoes, by which I mean hasn't it been outlawed yet? Ebony and Heather narrowly escape injury, while Ambreal apparently is a natural at bouncing and emoting. In the midst of all this, Janet is our prime narrator and interviewee, which is of course the certain kiss of death. She briefly establishes herself as the "mama" of the house, and as such harps about how the place is such a pigsty and practices her runway walking instead of practicing running naked through the house, as several of the other girls do.

The second death attempt sees the girls posing not only in the air but on the ice, as celebrated pairs ice-skater or -dancer Lloyd Eisler gives them a little flip action while Benny Ninja yells out one of three emotions. Lisa wins over the judges with her in-air-on-ice depiction of "sorrow," despite the fact that the other girls thought she sucked, and wins the chance to be in an ad in Seventeen along with Season 6 winner and challenge judge Dani, nee Danielle. She picks Janet and Ebony to partake in the prize with her. When they return from their day of shooting, Lisa encounters a whole load of stank from several of the other girls. And where stank is involved, you will most certainly find Bianca, who interrupts Lisa's tale of how fun the day was by asking her if her makeup is causing her to break out. Sure, it's cruel in a casual sort of way, but I'm really just glad to see she has her spirit back.

Our final death attempt occurs at the week's shoot, which takes place atop a high building and sees the girls posing as high-fashion gargoyles. If you're skeptical about how this differs from their everyday looks, you're not alone. Ambreal is seriously afraid of heights, but manages to pull through and get the shoot done. Ebony and Bianca both really turn it out, while Janet is preoccupied with the exposure of her white granny bloomers. In the end, it is Janet and Ambreal in the final two, with Mama Hot Wax getting sent back to Georgia. The greatest part about Janet's elimination is that Tyra can barely muster up any enthusiasm and gives her a half-hearted "I hope you continue to try to be a model" as a goodbye. My guess is that this terse send-off is a result of some particularly nasty ingrown hairs from the last Brazilian.

Want more? The full recap starts right below!

Previously on ANTM: Makeovers! As usual, these brought joy and pain, sunshine, and...well, more pain in the case of Bianca, who got hit up Sinead O'Connor-style. The girls posed as flowers for their photo shoot, but Victoria and Saleisha wilted under the pressure. Victoria's prickly attitude at judging sealed the deal, and, apparently, led Tyra to believe she was about to assault her with a Jimmy Choo. Of all the dumb things Tyra has ever done -- well, at least the ones I know about, because I'm sure there are more hidden deep within the ANTM footage vaults -- this is by far my favorite. Na na na na na na!

We begin the episode with Saleisha noting, as one might guess, that she does not want to be in the bottom two again. She wants to wow the judges. She wants them to be speechless. I very often want them to be speechless, but for different reasons entirely. We then cut to shots of the f'ing disgusting house, with mountains of piled-up dishes in the sink and spilled milk on the floor. It's really nasty. Janet gives the other girls a talking-to about respecting the beautiful house they live in. It's hard to concentrate on what she's saying, because there appears to be a rotting turkey carcass right behind her. I don't think this is what Tyra meant by "going green." Janet wants to put together a chores list. Jenah says that Janet has become the mom of the house -- much like her name- and hairstyle-sake, Janet Wood of Three's Company -- and it's kind of annoying. Janet tells us that she's constantly trying to focus and improve, and that being one of the shorter girls in the house and "curvy" she's fighting against a lot. The editors are surely not fighting against the fact that she's going to be eliminated this episode.

Out on one of the many porches, Heather gives her critique of the other girls as models. Lisa, she says, needs to work on her face. Ebony needs work all around. Janet is pretty good and has a slammin' body, but Heather just doesn't know. Chantal interviews, "Heather, geez, how do you really feel?" It's true. Heather doesn't actually seem like she's being catty, though. It's like she doesn't even know that she should be whispering right now. I know, I know. You say ass-bur-jers, I say oz-bur-gers. Bianca tells Heather that she's a judge now, then asks Heather to evaluate her. Heather says, without missing a beat, "You need to pull from inside the emotions like so that they look more true." Well, she's at least as articulate as Twiggy. Bianca asks Heather what her own problem is, and she says it's her awkward body. What about the moles?

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