Previously on ANTM: Makeovers! As usual, these brought joy and pain, sunshine, and...well, more pain in the case of Bianca, who got hit up Sinead O'Connor-style. The girls posed as flowers for their photo shoot, but Victoria and Saleisha wilted under the pressure. Victoria's prickly attitude at judging sealed the deal, and, apparently, led Tyra to believe she was about to assault her with a Jimmy Choo. Of all the dumb things Tyra has ever done -- well, at least the ones I know about, because I'm sure there are more hidden deep within the ANTM footage vaults -- this is by far my favorite. Na na na na na na!
We begin the episode with Saleisha noting, as one might guess, that she does not want to be in the bottom two again. She wants to wow the judges. She wants them to be speechless. I very often want them to be speechless, but for different reasons entirely. We then cut to shots of the f'ing disgusting house, with mountains of piled-up dishes in the sink and spilled milk on the floor. It's really nasty. Janet gives the other girls a talking-to about respecting the beautiful house they live in. It's hard to concentrate on what she's saying, because there appears to be a rotting turkey carcass right behind her. I don't think this is what Tyra meant by "going green." Janet wants to put together a chores list. Jenah says that Janet has become the mom of the house -- much like her name- and hairstyle-sake, Janet Wood of Three's Company -- and it's kind of annoying. Janet tells us that she's constantly trying to focus and improve, and that being one of the shorter girls in the house and "curvy" she's fighting against a lot. The editors are surely not fighting against the fact that she's going to be eliminated this episode.
Out on one of the many porches, Heather gives her critique of the other girls as models. Lisa, she says, needs to work on her face. Ebony needs work all around. Janet is pretty good and has a slammin' body, but Heather just doesn't know. Chantal interviews, "Heather, geez, how do you really feel?" It's true. Heather doesn't actually seem like she's being catty, though. It's like she doesn't even know that she should be whispering right now. I know, I know. You say ass-bur-jers, I say oz-bur-gers. Bianca tells Heather that she's a judge now, then asks Heather to evaluate her. Heather says, without missing a beat, "You need to pull from inside the emotions like so that they look more true." Well, she's at least as articulate as Twiggy. Bianca asks Heather what her own problem is, and she says it's her awkward body. What about the moles?