America's Next Top Model

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High Flying, Unadored

The girls head back downstairs for hair and makeup, and we see wardrobe stylists Anda and Masha, along with hairstylist Christian Marc. The girls have lots of black makeup and leather and generally look like S&M drag-queen versions of Madonna circa the Blonde Ambition tour. Heather is up first, and interviews that she's a little frustrated because she did badly in the challenge, but she'll be happy with a good picture. Jay asks Heather to give some poses where she looks in the camera, then gives her the high praise that she really did look like a fashion gargoyle creature. She's pleased. Jenah is up next, and she admits to being scared of heights but says she likes the rush of the fear. She's probably scared of heights the way that, like, the human race is scared of heights. At least we know she's intelligent enough to be cognizant of the fact that plummeting to her death would be unpleasant.

Sarah's up next and is just kind of posing like a big turd. Well, a turd with limbs who can put one arm up in the air. She has no idea what she's doing and is particularly uninspired. Jay seems to agree. Have you guys noticed that sometimes Sarah seems to lose her chin? It's like it just blends in with her neck or something. It makes me want to call her Chinless Jones. Then there's Janet, who interviews that a photo shoot can make or break you. She's concerned that what might break her is her white underwear. Mike tells her to put an arm in front of it and you can hardly see it. Jay says he's not sure if Janet "got" the photo shoot, and also isn't sure if she could do it on her own without constant prodding to let go. Saleisha is next, and her legs look so long, I can't even tell you. Jay tells her that her shoot came off a little men's-magazine-ish. She's mad, because she really wanted to knock him out today. I really want to knock him out all the time. Jay tells her to bring it next time.

Next up is Chantal, who makes up for the debacle of last week. Jay tells her she did a great job. Then we have Bianca, who turns the shoot out. Jay congratulates her and tells her to go about her business. I've been dog-sitting for the past two weeks, so this makes me think that he wants Bianca to go poop on the other side of the roof. She'd probably do it too, given her grimy nature. Lisa is next, and, as we have learned earlier in the episode, is prone to thinking too much. She starts off slow but eventually lets go and gets some praise from Jay. Mike tells her that when she's not thinking about it too much, she comes up with the best stuff. Jay tells her not to worry about screwing up.

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America's Next Top Model

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