MONDO EXTRAS

Sara and Mercedes find out that they get another present as a result of their challenge win, and the elevator door to the loft opens and Sara's and Mercedes's moms walk out. And there's Tyra! And she brought her mom, too! And here's my mom! 'Cause I'm still in the garage making these t-shirts! Tyra's mom crowds everyone around her in that "Oh, look, an old man is talking" kind of way, and explains that when you're a model you're going to get rejected a lot in a business that's insane. Last time they got to meet their moms after the underwater shoot. That's the only thing that hasn't gone in the same order as the first time it aired.

Jay "Woman! Whoa, Man! Whooooooooa" Manuel greets the ladies at a studio, standing in front of a big enclosed tank filled with fish. He tells them that it's "a fish theme," and he introduces us to the photographer, George Holtz, and celebrity stylist Nolé Marin, whose name I had to arrive at on Microsoft Word by spelling the word "résumé" incorrectly, autocorrecting it to make the two accents appear (fuck you, keycaps, I still don't know what or where you are), copying one of the é's, and pasting it on at the end of the letters "Nol." So we're just going to call him Dr. Evil from now on, because he's a sinister-looking squat bald man who totes a tiny dog that he pets incessantly, and it's not like it's a dated reference because when I first began the process of copying out the accent it was, in fact, 1999. Xiomara is out, and the world cries blood.

Intermission. If you've just cooled down momentarily by kicking back and downloading the "Shake Ya Body" MP3 off of the UPN website, well, then, you're the one.

Camille removes that sun-blocking eye-guard thing she sleeps with because she's a nineteenth-century grande dame of some kind, and voices over, "I woke up this morning and I don't know what's going on, but my mouth is, like, super, super-swollen and it hurts." Ooooh, a mouth stuffed with karma. Sounds painful. So that's the taste of having your cake and trying to eat it, too. Tyra brilliantly steps in to build a narrative bridge, voicing over in the nick of time, "Even though Camille was the one with the crisis, when it came to acting class, she was the only one to hold back her emotions." Two girls sit on stage and quietly whisper what the other person says. Sara weeps about her crappy, model-y father. Shandi screams "I hate you" to her dad, here understudied by Mercedes, I think. Everyone cries. There's an actual crying montage, which Shandi does a bit too well when she's caught mid-nose-drool without a tissue. Meanwhile, Camille sits in the empty room, her eyes fixed toward the top of her head and the intellectual part of her making a strong mental look, "Remember to look up 'bemused.' Because I think that's probably exactly what I am right now." Then Camille rewrites the script in acting class, and this time they've cleverly decided to toss up on screen the lines that she was supposed to say, which would be a lot funnier if we hadn't heard the other girls say them correctly last time. Because still and all, they're not even close. But since it's in the canon of amazingly funny lines that should be engraved in Latin across the top of the America's Next Top Model family crest, here it is again for those of you who haven't changed channels to, well, I don't have any idea what airs opposite this: "I focused my energy into sculpting. I even gave some away to charity." Awesome. Anyone for Rollitos?