MONDO EXTRAS

Tyra's point, I guess, is that they (all supermodels, so maybe including her?) suck at rapping. Apparently, at lunch in Little Italy, Tyra had told them that they were going to be taking a trip, which really clears up the confusion I felt when Tyra belted out her euphoric "Pack your bags, y'all, you're goin' to Milan!" Which I sing. Out loud. All the time. Like, say, right now. Because that shit really gets stuck in your head. Like, to the point of, say, encroaching insanity. Good thing she didn't rap the lyrics to "Helter Skelter," or my neighbors would be bleeding and my cat would be in the microwave.

Go666Sees. Crying. Milan. Jay runs the high-fashion shoot. Yoanna is up first, and she's decked out real pretty-like in Dior glasses. Jay tells her to stand in a way he described to us as "deconstructed poses," which is totally just shorthand fashion for "early man." It's so hunchy! Yoanna rocks the pose. But that night at dinner, Yoanna is soon to depart for the restroom, and Jay asks in her absence, "She always disappears to the bathroom at dinner?" Tyra gets her concerned, like, "I run Camp Tyra" look, and says that eating disorders are, well, disorderly and something to be taken seriously. Even if they're completely fabricated by a former nemesis and unconvincing friend whose personal credo seems to have just morphed into "and if you can't kill them with kindness, kill them with bulimia." Far more effective. Yoanna comes back with a book of matches, so I guess she doesn't have bulimia so much as she, like, plays pick-up-sticks with Our Gang? She wasn't smoking. Tyra is soon to be off, and suddenly Mercedes is telling Yoanna what Camille had said. Yoanna pointedly asks, "And you said this in front of Tyra Banks?" And watch out, y'all. She's unzipping her hoodie. She means it, big-time. Mercedes and Camille have words about this, and Camille defends herself by saying, "The question was if she disappears a lot. And, yes, she doesn't disappear a lot." Kreskin? You're still in the running toward becoming America's Next Top Model. But Camille won't.

"Now, four girls remain!" Tyra tells us, distilling each of the remaining girls' central personality characteristics down to its exceedingly well-edited core: "The nerdy Walgreen's clerk. The slimmed-down fashion fanatic. The analytical businesswoman. And the spunky spitfire. Tune in next week to see who will be eliminated next." Oh, man. I am so totally jealous of the me of the future.