MONDO EXTRAS

"That runway show exposed them as amateurs, and it showed them just how far they had to go," Tyra reminds us. And...go! Military-themed phat beats play on in the background, and the girls cluelessly vamp out. Oh, how I wish it were slightly more humiliating. Tyra curls a lip. Don't you love how everyone thinks his or her job is really hard? The men clap. J. tells the girls, "Personally, I think you all sucked." Seriously, this is the most contrived "tough guy" act I've ever seen. The most contrived tough-guy act since Alan Thicke tried to play a real father. The most contrived tough-guy act since we were supposed to buy Anthony Hopkins as a sitting President. The most contrived tough-guy act since "...and, starring Noah Taylor as Adolf Hitler." Paint, Hilter! Paint!

An alarm clock buzzes (and freaks me out anew every time I rewind back into it) at 5:10 AM. Everyone piles into the elevator, and it's not until they're in a slightly more downmarket minivan that someone asks, "Where's Jenascia?" She's inside, still sleeping. April stands outside, asking if she can go wake Jenascia up, but all the girls say they'll just leave if April walks away. Wow. April hops in, feels slightly bad, and that's that. Double-stuffed wow. But seriously, how does anyone sleep through eleven girls getting ready to leave the house? April, dude. Hit the buzzer. HIT THE BU...well, very little we can do from here in the future, I guess.