Tyra Mail! Tyra Mail! Tomorrow night, one of you will be eliminated. They agree that they'll have a big breakfast the following morning (I don't know if that's such a...ah, we're almost done. Never mind), and then, according to Yoanna, "What the hell were you thinking? You stupid girl! We're creating top models, not clowns on the runway!" I think she's doing an impression of "Generic Angry Judge," because she doesn't seem to be embodying any one of them in particular. In other news, Clowns on the Runway is officially the working title of my dream diary or an upcoming blog entry about that one time I flew on AirTran, bless my mortal soul.
Yoanna thinks Mercedes is "a beautiful person," but that Yoanna would be, by her own admission, "heartbroken" if Mercedes won. Mercedes thinks Yoanna is "a great person," but notes that if Yoanna wins, she'll pull out her hair and yell, "It wasn't meant to be!" Or you can just give her the scissors and the script and I'll bet she's juuuuust self-destructive enough to take care of the whole passion play for you.
They load their luggage into a van and hop in behind it, turning up at The Courthouse Of Exterior Beauty, this hilarious exterior shot of where Il Room Of Eliminato takes place. It's just like a regular court. Except the statue of justice doesn't have a blindfold on, and is cattily judging your muscle tone. And she thinks you're too short. She doesn't care. She'll just say it. It doesn't matter to her. She's made of stone. People. She is actually made of stone.
Okay. That's it. I'm exhausted.
Were we just here? Tyra welcomes Yoanna and Mercedes back and tells them that it's time for them to graduate to the real world of modeling. And then she introduces the panel of judges. Again. Janice, Eric, Nigel, and no guest judge. The individual evaluation is first. Janice says that Mercedes has the attitude of a top model, adding, "Your ass is so cute!" Eric thinks Yoanna was great "at the end." Yoanna likens the experience to being on drugs. To pretend that there's some sort of balance and that we don't know who is going to win, Tyra offers a bit of critique for each of them: Yoanna stayed too much on the beat when she walked, and Mercedes over-posed at the end of the runway. And Janice signed most of her autographs, "Best wishes, Anne Rice." So really, no model is perfect.