Yoanna, meanwhile, is also on a cell phone, barking in a single breath to whoever it is on the other end: "Hey Mama I got a chance to call you I haven't talked to you in so looooooooooong!" Yoanna's mother hops upward to the conversational perch of "edgewise," discovering on her ascent that she still can't get a word in from that approach either, and we're right back to Yoanna chirping in a confessional, "I'm very close with my mom, so it's really been hard being away from her." She then utters those magical words all mothers long to hear, continuing on, "I miss you, but..." But?

But wait. Why on earth is Shandi on the phone with Mercedes's mother? I don't...ooooooh. Never mind. Put me in a dunce beret and shove me in a corner. It's Shandi's boyfriend, High-Pitched Eric, who tells her over the soundtrack of some easy-reader piano-sheet music (which, were it Eric playing it, he would doubtlessly choose easy-reader piano luminary "Agay"), "I'm not mad, okay? I just care about you right now." Man. Way to let her off easy when he didn't get off at all because some tall Italian stud named Michelangelo or Italiano was getting off in his stead. "It's a really horrible thing that I did," Shandi tells us, beginning a statement that shouldn't come replete with any other "but" than the one Shandi sexed her hands all over before her boyfriend dumped her, "[but] it seems like we're close enough and we care enough about each other that we're willing to work through it." Wow, Shandi. That you'd have the emotional fortitude to work through something like this. After all he's put you through. Vis à vis Lauren. And the movies. You brave, lone survivor, you.