America's Next Top Model
America's Next Top Model

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Potes: B+ | 752 USERS: C+
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If You Wanna Go On And Be Funky...

As the girls gather in the The Editor's Suite (which they call "the family room"), Eva notices that there is bed in it. In a nonchalant fashion, she says, "Is this a bed? I'm here. This is my bed." End of discussion, right? Wrong! In Julie's words, "Ann threw a big hissyfit." I love when Julie narrates. Ann says that two people wanted one room, and actually tries to get the girls to draw straws to redistribute the beds so that she and Eva can share a room. And then, the greatest thing ever happens. Seriously, I don’t think my words can do it justice. The girls are all, "I like my room. I'm staying where I'm at." Ann tries to protest. Cassie says, "You want to room with Eva, well, that's not possible right now." Ann replies with the completely cogent argument of "Okay, but yes it is because we said...like, are you kidding?" Ha! The girls say that they never agreed to anything. Ann tells them to go fuck themselves. Toccara puts the final point on this scene as she says, "Ann? Big deal. Tough titty." Heh. But seriously, I didn't know you could say "titty" on TV!

Ann interviews that she is really close to Eva and that, were positions reversed, she would have insisted on rooming with Eva. Well, she did insist on rooming with Eva and Eva didn't give a fuck. So there. Ann has to live in the pink room. Leah chirps that the room is "pink positive," and that Ann has to be positive if she's staying in there. Ann does not look happy. Eva says that, as much as she loves Ann, she is still going to be Eva. "Ann can bitch and moan, but Eva is going to remain Eva." If I may interpret, I think what Eva is saying is that she needs to forge an independent identity and dissociate herself from this crazy mofo. Good move, Eva. Good move. I love how Eva has suddenly become the voice of reason, by the way.

Ann says that after moving into the house, she and Eva have "split up," and that it is important for her to continue to have a friendship with Eva, so she asked Eva to have a talk. With about six other girls in the room. Dude. Ann tells Eva that she's hurt because Eva didn't stick up for her. Eva is like, "The hell?" (That's paraphrasing, by the way.) Ann asks Eva if she didn't actually want to room together. Eva says she did, but we all know that's a total lie. Eva says, "Ann, as close as we are, we still don't know each other." Ann says (and I quote in full so as to accurately present the craziness), "I don't want to change the way I feel about anyone, like, I don't want to try and control that, like, I love you, like, I will be friends with you forever...you will be in my wedding, like, I swear to God, like, I love you, and like, it kills me to walk around this house knowing that I can't, like, talk to you." Toccara interviews that Ann is co-dependent and needs Eva to survive. Ann says, "I believe in you, like, I want you to win this more than I want me to win this." To finance their glorious Provincetown wedding. Pastor J. Alexander presiding.

America's Next Top Model

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