America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Is Contagious

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Potes: B+ | Grade It Now!
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The Flesh Eaters Are Coming! The Flesh Eaters Are Coming!

Of Tiffany's Native-American photo, Janice says, "You look like a madam in a brothel." And Janice just looks like Madame. Tyra says that she's not bringing anything from within. I think it looks good, but again, I know nothing. Lluvy is next, and Tyra notes that, like Tyra herself, Lluvy is prone to wearing excessive Tammy Faye eyeliner and mascara, and that she would have liked to see her with bright red lips. Janice loves Lluvy's photo. Flambé says that there's no passion or feeling in the face. Nigel says that Lluvy's look is not translating well into pictures. Another victim of the old Ann syndrome, is Lluvy.

And then, Michelle. Tyra and Flambé note that she seems hesitant and lacking in confidence. Tyra tells Michelle to explain to the judges what's going on. Michelle tells them that she has "infatigo" [sic]. Janice says that she never would have known but for Michelle's attitude. Janice then does an awesome impression of a deep-voiced Michelle hulking around and saying, "I am hiding a deep dark secret." Janice tells her to learn how to forget it. Tyra gives Michelle some mild criticism about her Eskimo photo, saying that she could have shown a bit more intensity. Yeah, that's exactly what Michelle needs to be told: to be more intense. Michelle starts crying and says that she agrees that it's a horrible picture, and that she could have done much better. And then, a bit of tender Lifetime movie music cues some wise words from Janice: "I wish you were crying in the picture because you look gorgeous right now. One morning I woke up, and I had a sty in my eye that made me look like an alien from another planet. But I went to work anyway, and I spent the rest of the day posing like that [covers one eye with hand, smiles broadly, waves other arm around]. You know, you've just gotta project happiness no matter what." And in case anybody cares, it was that combination of Janice speech and music that made me bump this episode grade up to A-. Total brilliance. Also, I know my birthday isn't for a while, but I'm putting in an early request for a compilation of Janice sound files. "One morning I woke up, and I had a sty in my eye." You just don't get that everywhere. Tyra dismisses Michelle, and Janice says, "Thanks, honey." I love nice Janice!

The judges deliberate. Janice is bored by Christina's gorgeous Village of the Damned look. Flambé loves Christina's photo. Tiffany has striking features, but it's not enough. Janice says that Brittany's larger-than-life personality will work in her favor. Tyra says, "It worked for Janice," and Janice slyly replies, "Didn't it now. I'm still here." I want that on the compilation, too. Rebecca has potential. Keenyah delivers week after week, and Janice notes that even when they criticize her, "She's sucking it in like SpongeBob SquarePants." And sometimes, like a truly clever joke, the brilliance of Janice takes a moment to get through. Naima has stepped back a bit, and is becoming forgettable. Keenyah is consistently impressive. Janice doesn't think that Noelle is a model when you look at her. Tyra agrees, but thinks that her photo is also one of the strongest. Nigel thinks that Tatiana is cute and interesting, but Janice thinks that she's not cutting it. On Michelle, Nigel says, "Skin problems aside, the girl has big problems." And I want that to be the hidden bonus track on my compilation. Janice says, "I've had bad feet and psoriasis and, you know, pimples on my ass, but I hid it." The guest judge thinks that Lluvy has something, but stupid Flambé says that she looks like a marshmallow with lipstick. That makes no sense and isn't even funny. Shut up, Flambé.

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America's Next Top Model

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