America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Is Contagious

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The Flesh Eaters Are Coming! The Flesh Eaters Are Coming!

When we return, Noelle is on the phone talking to her son Damien. She promises that she's coming home soon, which demonstrates that she may have some psychic abilities. She says that Damien means "like, everything" to her. So much, in fact, that she left him at home so that she could make a better life as a reality-show participant. On the UPN. She feels like she's literally missing a part of herself. Some of the girls sit outside, and Noelle blathers on about how her life is no longer just about her, and how she's doing everything to make a better life for her child. Brittany gives her a hilarious look, and interviews, "Noelle talks constantly about her child, 24/7. Okay. We got it. You have a kid. Next." Hee!

And then, a surprise visit from Tyra. There is much pandemonium. She asks the girls if they are feeling stressed. Noelle says that they are going through more stress than they've ever faced previously in their lives. Tyra has a one-on-one chat with each of the girls. Keenyah expresses how much she admires Tyra and says she can't believe that she's sitting in such close proximity. Tyra takes Keenyah's hand and puts it on her arm and says, "I'm real." And then Keenyah puts a bit too much pressure on her and the green slime that comprises Tyra's blood starts spurting out, and then her weave explodes and reveals five secret heads with thirteen eyeballs each. Lluvy has a lot on her mind, and says she knows what her flaws are but can't fix them. Tyra says that Lluvy has a very interesting face, but needs to be aware of how to photograph it in the best manner. If not held right, her eyes can convey "Bleaahhhhh." If held right, they convey, "POW!"

And then Michelle. Tyra asks how she's handling the pressure of the competition, and Michelle points out her enormous facial scabs. Tyra looks concerned and mildly horrified. Michelle says it's scaring her, and that she doesn't know if it's caused by stress or makeup. Tyra guesses that neither is to blame. She then says that she's had a lot of skin problems, including warts when she was a little girl and black patches on the left side of her thigh that she needed to get burned off, but that nothing was as bad as Michelle's face. Hear that, Michelle? Tyra had to have something actually burned off of her flesh, and you've still trumped her with your ugly condition! Well done. Tyra asks if the show is sending her to the dermatologist, and Michelle says yes.

Tiffany doesn't know how she's doing, and feels like she doesn't fit in. She says that she wants to be a model, but that sometimes she won't know the definition of a word, or won't recognize the items on a menu when they go out. Which is why she chooses to drink herself into oblivion and vomit at the dinner table, to draw attention away from her lack of knowledge. Tyra says that once upon a time, she didn't know what foie gras and smoked salmon with crème fraiche were, but now she's a fabulous supermodel slash television producer slash talk show host and eats buckets of each every day. She tells Tiffany that it's okay to ask questions. Tiffany says that there's a lot going on, and that she misses home. She feels like she has nobody. Tyra says that a lot of that is fear, and that if Tiffany opens herself up, she might find that a lot of girls are having similar experiences.

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America's Next Top Model

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