Up and ready at 7 AM, Mercedes tells us in a confessional, "Wow, y'know, it just keeps getting better. This is great!" Her manic smile, I think, faded into sarcasm at whatever she was saying, but they decided to edit that out because...well, that's what any executive producer would want if she'd just sent you an invitation to her televised karaoke party. Onto a soundstage we walk, where we discover a perfectly awake Jay "'Cause I'm Your Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaady, And You Are My" Manuel, who would probably just sigh drolly and ask, "Darling, do I seem like someone who's even gone to bed yet?" I really don't know, Jay. Just stop calling me "darling." Jay tells them that we've learned a lot this week, and that one of those things we've learned this week is about more than just taking pictures. It's also about pimping your boss's new career. Let's learn more! "Today, you will be dancing in a music video. And the best part is the video is for the debut single from our very own...Tyra Banks!" Tyra steps up next to Jay, all, "Who, me? But I was just so happy to be nominated!" She's decked out in dark sunglasses and what I can only describe as une belle chapeau. When did everyone on this show suddenly go so street? Well, don't worry about Tyra, y'all. She sings! She models! She acts! She dances! She cures lupus! She mends diplomatic relationships between India and Pakistan! And if she runs off in a sudden hurry, don't you be offended...she's probably just doing a little quick community service on the side, helping to build a hizzy for some mad poor orphinz.
"Everybody knows me as a model," Tyra tells us in a confessional that finds her waaaaaaaaay too close to me, against a blue background that looks like there's a hard-charging Lite Brite behind her with malicious intent, gaining ground every second. "But now I'm moving into the world of recording artist." She doesn't even seem to believe it when she says it, like she knows how much power she wields and finds it somewhat ridiculous. "And I'm nervous. I really am." Oh, Tyra. You're so naïve. Don't you know that the creative community at large is accepting of an artist who wants to try his or her hand at another pursuit? Why pigeon-hole yourself? You just put your mojo out there into the universe and I'm sure no one will ever make fun of your efforts no matter how bad it is. Now, will somebody PLEASE explain to me why I can't get Eddie Murphy's "Party All the Time" out of my head!













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