Singularly-named and singularly AWESOME (I'm just kidding. I have no idea who he is. But he thinks I should know, which is what's important to him) commercial video director Kennedy (not to be confused with dead presidents or Dead Kennedys) speeches the girls, "You ready for a long day? A real day? A real film shoot! Nowhere to hide!" Yes, Kennedy. Yes. You can spare them the diabolical speeches about shooting action sequences, because the girls are all well-fortified by the numerous bags of Rollitos they've consumed, seeing as they already shot action sequences on film last week. Mmmmm...Rollitos.
"Whatever happens, I was in Tyra's video," Sara celebrates while getting into costume. Well. Barely.
And...action! Okay, let's just take care of all this here, because I'm not recapping the video at the end. Whatever. Send your complaints to Mike Fleiss. Tyra is wearing a crotch-covering strip of black latex and a torn blue shirt, and she stands on a runway (geddit? GEDDIT?) singing as follows: "I don't want to take it slow/ Move your body, let me know/ Let me see ya lose control/ Leave it up to me to take control to love ya." ["I don't think she's talking about dancing, y'all." -- Wing Chun] And if this doesn't explain the music genre this song slots into, I don't know what does: I had it in my head until I went to sleep last night, and I then I couldn't remember it when I woke up this morning. It's one of those songs a friend and I call notsongs, because they just kind of thump along, insanely overproduced, but nothing ever really happens. See: "Miss Independent." See: "Cry Me a River." See also: "O-Town." That said, the bridge -- yes, it actually has a bridge -- is awesome. Oh, yes. And the version that I downloaded? I've listened to it sixteen times.
Each of the girls takes a turn strutting. April goes first, telling us, "If I don't give it my all, I'm outta here." When April turns around to recess the runway, she walks past Yoanna and actually tries to body-check her off the thing. Even Jay notices it, telling us, "April tried to knock Yoanna out, and Yoanna's just serving up like a true top model." I don't know what means, but I fully agree. And, just for good measure, they show the thing happen again! In slow motion! With that kind of grainy slow-mo repeat utilized to show a conspiracy unfolding, it's getting less and less difficult to understand why they'd want this video directed by a Kennedy.