Yoanna wants it badder than all the other girls want it bad, and she's longing to prove it...with passive-aggressive belligerence! In a car now, Yoanna grills April while Look-At-Me- I'm-Sandra-Shan-Dee looks on: "If you had a choice to be a model or an actress, what would you choose, like, right now?" April thinks hard about closing the little window divide between the back seat where she sits and the front seat that Yoanna occupies, but accidentally hits the "rationalize" button that lies right next to it, spitting out, "I view modeling as the base of acting." I'm sure the following modelesque beauties will be interested to learn this: Dustin Hoffman, Al Pacino, Uta Hagen, Jason Robards, and the still spinning, catwalking corpse of Sir Lawrence Olivier. They all viewed modeling as the basis of acting as well. Modeling is the basis of acting. Just as haberdashery is the basis of politics and stained glass skill is the basis of world domination. Seriously. Just follow the logic. April confessionalizes, "I've been told by enough people that, yes, you can be a model," and I can totally understand how exhausting that must be. Back in the car, April fends off Yoanna's ever-morphing series of bemused smirks with the line "It's too early for me to say." Yoanna wonders aloud (I mean, not anywhere near April, but you've got to get it out, y'know?) whether April is really passionate about being America's Next Top Model, or if she's only interested in the rank opportunism of winning. She notes that, were April to win, Yoanna would be "devastated." When did April become the silver medalist in the Yoanna event at the Camille-lympics?
Tyra Mail! All we're told is that the girls are going to need "a lot of energy" today (good thing all of that logged lupus footage has already been resolved, am I right...whichever one of you girls had the two-episode case of lupus?), and we cut to them entering a dance studio and meeting a Tony Michaels, who we're told is "a choreographer." Well, then, Dancing Queen...let's do the starfuck again! "I've worked with J.Lo, I've worked with Céline Dion, I've worked with Prince. The list goes on and on." It does? Do you think later in the list, then, you might remember some of the actual dancers? What moves did you lay on Céline Dion, because I wasn't aware that the clenched fist, when moved from heart to air in a forty-five degree angle constituted a dance move. Got a name for it? The "French Twist," perhaps? No? Then how about the "French-Canadian Twist"? Better?