America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Is On The Cover

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Potes: B+ | Grade It Now!
Sister Sledgehammer

We are greeted with more audience shots, including some freaky-looking people for extra added authenticity. Tyra tells the girls that the show is hard because they have to run down a long runway, but that she doesn't want them to go so fast that they lose their strut. She wants them, quite predictably, to work it. Nicole interviews that she's extremely nervous and worried that she won't show the judges and everyone what she can do. If that's the case, there's a chance, she says, that she won't become America's Next Top Model. The girls line up backstage as Tyra is escorted to her seat. She has some weird 1940s hairdo going on. As we see more shots of the crowd, it becomes clear that they're, like, fat guys in polo shirts. But whatever. I'm just glad that these girls weren't given the opportunity to ruin a real runway show. The Twig, Nigel, and Miss J., who is wearing his stupid flower corsage on a hat, look on.

Naima is first on the runway and, dare I say it, she looks pretty fierce. The Shakespeare projections are stoo-pid, though. I bet they were Jay's idea. (See, now that I said one nice thing about him, I have to be extra-mean in other areas.) Nicole has a mark on her back that the makeup artist has to touch up. She interviews that she was stressing about it, but told herself to work it out. Wow, I was on the edge of my seat with that crisis! She finally goes out, and I must say that she looks great. She walks in that blank, disaffected way that models do, and really knows how to wear a shapeless yet slinky dress. She says that, while she walks down the runway, she feels a huge surge of adrenaline, and feels like she is the center of the world. The earth's core is all, "I could school you, bitch." We then see Nik walk, and she sort of swishes and bounces. Nik really does have some serious breasteses. She says that it feels amazing because she wants to be on the runway and to be America's Next Top Model, and that this is the time for her to do it. Or, not.

There is pandemonium backstage. And I should note that the audience for the show can see all the backstage action in shadow, because it is backlit as the models change and whatnot behind a white screen. I would think that would be very distracting. Nicole says that everyone is throwing clothes everywhere, and that she's looking hot and loving it. Eva then walks wearing some sort vest-ish fur hoodie that falls down mid-runway. When she strikes a pose at the end she pulls it back up, because she is a pro. Eva has gotten just a touch thick. Nicole comes out again, still looking great. She says that everyone at Panel always says how sweet and innocent she is, so she wanted to project something different and show them her wild side. Smart move. Next is Nik, who is gorgeous but still bouncy. Oh, Nik, stop with the bouncing! I'm afraid it will be the end of you. More Nicole, who says that she was trying to bring something different to the runway at every pass, and really worked it out the third time around.

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America's Next Top Model




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