America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Is On The Cover

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Sister Sledgehammer

And then as we pan out to show the judges watching the girls, who do I see in the background but one Mr. Djb, best friend for the ages, former recapper of this very show and current employee of ANTM. Who apparently was...in London? Interesting.... But even the Djb sighting and related string of questions about this mysterious "trip to London" are quickly overshadowed by Nik's breasts, which come sashaying down the runway in a slinky pink gown. Lawd. She says that this competition could make her a supermodel, and that it's a blessing for her just to be there, but that it would be an even bigger blessing to win. Djb looks unaffected by this proclamation. We see side by side footage of Nik and Nicole walking down the runway, and I have to say I'm torn. Nik is so amazing-looking, but Nicole just seems so modelesque. Who will it be?! I mean, obviously I know now, but upon my first viewing I have to say I had absolutely no idea. It's a good final two.

The show is over. Nicole loved being on the runway, and Jay tells her that she rocked. He also tells Nik that she was serving it. She says that she's confident and happy, and that she didn't have that before. Nicole says that Nik's awesome, and that she really respects Nik as a model, but that she feels that the competition is for her, and that she wants to win now more than ever. We cut to commercials, where we learn that Nik was voted Cover Girl of the Week. Hey, at least she won something!

We return to the final judging, Nik still in her boob dress. Tyra tells them that they've come such a long way, and that so many girls would like to be in their place, but that they're there because they've both done an amazing job in the competition. But, Tyra says, there can only be one America's Next Top Model. Oh, I don't want anyone to lose! They both look so pretty. God, what is wrong with me? Janice left and I got all soft. I need to tell someone, "Die, motherfucker," but quick. Tyra reviews the prizes: a contract with Ford, a spread in Elle, a cover of ElleGirl, and a $100,000 Cover Girl contract.

It is time for the individual evaluations of the girls' performances on the runway. Nigel was floored by Nicole, but Miss J. says that she doesn't know what to do with her hands and tends to slouch a bit. Twiggy says that when Nicole came out, Twiggy didn't recognize her, because she looked strong and strutting rather than her usual romantic and soft. Tyra was a very proud mama, but would like to see Nicole look a bit more pissed. Twiggy says that Nik looked amazing, but that the walk was a little bit bouncy. Tyra says that she agrees, and that the walk took away from the strong high-fashion effect. Nigel says that Nik looks incredible, but that the jiggly walk was not a fashion walk. Miss J. just says, "It was a bad walk." Nik knows she's screwed. Tyra says that it reminded her of her era, when girls had a signature walk. A bad signature walk.

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America's Next Top Model

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