America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Is On The Cover

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Sister Sledgehammer

Next is Nik. The judges are wowed by her photo. Tyra says that it's a beautiful shot, but that there wasn't a lot to choose from. I somehow don't believe that. Nik also gets big kudos for her commercial performance. Nigel praises her fluid rendition, which was also delivered with a smile. Tyra suggests that Nik be a little more "cheeky" and flirty in her delivery, especially for a product like Cover Girl. She demonstrates what she means, and sounds like an idiot, so I actually think that Nik did just fine.

The judges then give Nicole's photo a tongue bath, which is appropriate, given the enormous proportions of her teeth. Nicole is very pleased. We then see footage of Nicole on the set bratting about the lights blinding her, which she readily admits to Miss J. was an excuse because she couldn't remember her lines. Twiggy says that it's a shame, because Nicole looked so beautiful. One of the guest judges says that it's a lot to ask from the models, but Tyra says that, in fact it's not a lot to ask, because these are the best girls in the competition, and that Nicole was one of the strongest in the Secret commercial. Tyra tells Nicole that she needs to take responsibility for the fact that she choked. Tyra is all about the personal responsibility, unless it is personal responsibility for harnessing your enormous breasts to make sure they don't envelop Liverpool. Seriously, the woman needs a little extra support.

The judges deliberate. One of the guest judges says that Bre would be great for photo campaigns, but Twiggy says that Bre's is her least favorite shot, and that she still doesn't look like a model. Nigel says that Bre is very natural in front of the camera, which is an important thing, and Tyra adds that Bre has more punch (and pie!) and personality than Nicole and Nik combined. It's true. Miss J. says that Nicole needs to get some personality. Twiggy basically likes everything about Nicole. One of the guest judges says that she'd have Nicole in her show, but the other thinks she sometimes looks too sweet and young. Tyra says that they often say that about Nicole, but that models start out when they're twelve years old. Yes, but they look like twelve-year-old cracked-out whores, which makes all the difference. Miss J. says he thinks Nik is great and loves her photo. Nigel says that Nik has a wishy-washy personality, and Miss J. says that she's been consistent throughout. Is this opposite day? I thought Miss J. hated Nik. Tyra says that Miss J. makes a good point, and that Nicole and Nik have been consistent, while Bre has made consistent progress. If "consistent progress" means "performing marginally better than she did at the beginning of the competition while also amusing us with her psycho granola-loving antics," then I agree. Nigel says that Bre is who she is, and that he thinks some of the other girls are trying to be something they're not. Oh, put a sock in it, dirty old man.

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America's Next Top Model

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