Next, Ann, who looks a mess in her cowboy hat and ugly outfit. Nigel calls her a disaster, and then points out that her t-shirt is dirty. Haaaa! Oh, man. Everyone is scandalized about that. Grimley says that her lack of interest in clothing is very apparent, that she should throw out her ugly skirt, and chuck the Ugg Boots while she's at it. Janice agrees that the Uggs are over. And thank God a pearl of wisdom came out of this episode. I think that Ann's photo looks really good, but the judges don't like it at all. Tyra notes that the photographer said that Ann's eyes were dead, and that they only had one good shot of her. What about that one they showed during the shoot?

Norelle picked the '40s hat because she thinks that she's a classic beauty. She paired it with a black tank top and white skirt, and the judges think that she looks pretty, but needs to learn how to wear clothes better. Norelle's photo is relatively good, but her mouth looks tense.

Eva chose the leather hat and paired it with a tiny leather skirt and cute button-down shirt. The judges think that she looks cheap. Her photo kills. Raves all around. Eva is amazed, and tells the judges that she was petrified of the spider. Janice yells, "Try posing on a live crocodile, honey!" And I think that this explains those half human, half reptilian creatures that are rumored to run rampant through the swamps of Florida. Eva is pleased.

And then, fucking Yaya. Tyra asks her why she chose the cowboy hat. Yaya says, "It's more on the simple side...so that I can go crazy with accessories and express myself without being...cliché." Oh, man. Here we go. Nigel says that he thinks she looks beautiful, and that everyone probably pegged her as going for the traditional African hat. And I'm sorry, but that hat was a refugee from the opening credits of The Cosby Show midway through its run. It just wasn't cool. And how was she supposed to fit that over her 'fro? Nolé is not feeling the outfit, and says that she looks Half-rican, and like she's about to ride a giraffe. Grimley says that Yaya has an intensity to prove her "Africanness" -- and at this there is a slow-mo shot of Tyra glaring at Grimley -- which is sometimes overbearing. Yaya begins to snit, "In response to trying to prove myself as an African" -- and Janice starts to sneer right about here -- "that's just where I come from, it's very natural to me." And now Yaya's voice starts cracking like Peter Brady's. But she did not yet learn the lesson that when it's time to change, you have to rearrange. She gets an extra helping of attitude, complete with pointing, and says, "And I did not choose that hat for the very specific reason that it's very cliché," and at this someone lets out a big guffaw, "and the fabric that it's made from is very artificial, very cheap, fake kente." Nigel gets a total dad voice and just quietly says, "Yaya." Tyra says that Yaya is being defensive, which is not attractive. Yaya gets a look on her face and tone in her voice as if she's describing scraping shit off of her shoe, and says, "Just because we had a talk about, you know" -- insert finger quotes here -- "Afrocentricity before, and it's kind of...misunderstood." Tyra says that she's all about expressing your culture, but that Yaya's outfit doesn't say, "Look at me," it says, "Look over there. At that fake kente cloth hat. Can you believe it? So cliché." She has built a wall with six blocks that spell "bitchface." Everyone raves over Yaya's photo, though. Crap.