America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Is Panic Stricken

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Along Came A Spider

Yaya poses well. Her hair is long and straight and she looks nothing like herself. Boring, boring, boring. Amanda says that she felt the spider's leg go into her cornea. Which is affected by a rare disease called...well, you know the drill. Jay tells her to keep still and the spider will stay out of her eye. I think, though, that like many of us, the spider is dubious about Amanda's condition and thought while it was in such close proximity it might as well check out the old retinas for itself. I think that the spider is named "Harry." Harry T. Rantula. I can't wait for Harry to smack down the wardrobe artist for having nothing that will accommodate his eight legs. "Do you think that I can get a whole rack of pants that will fit you? Haute couture just isn't ready." Harry has to work fifteen times as hard as the other models, and also runs the constant risk of being squashed, or murdered by his handler Yolanda Saldivar. Jay sneers that Amanda is getting a little "commercial-looking" (oh, here we go), and that up close she might not be a great beauty girl. Amanda hasn't been bugging me that much lately, so this doesn't give me the joy that one might expect. Since the election I've really been impervious to pleasure or pain. I'm dead inside. Eva is crying. Danilo jokes that there will be only one spider fatality today, and says that Eva's face is panic-stricken. Eva apologizes to the makeup artist. See, she's not actually throwing a snit fit or anything, she's just scared. Amanda interviews that seeing Diva Eva in fear of a spider makes her more human. Harry interviews that he is the one who should be scared, given the giant size of Eva's nostrils.

Norelle does not feel comfortable. Jay says that she is only comfortable with a face full of makeup and a camera pulled off of her. Toccara calls Harry "The Itsy Bitsy Spider." Harry gives her a poke in the eye for this. ["Your arachnid stereotypes offend me greatly." -- Harry T. Rantula] Yaya tells Toccara to try to read the judges' faces, and we hear Bill saying that he did the best he could. Toccara looks disappointed. Next, Ann. Ann asks if the spider can be moved down a little bit, and Harry obligingly moseys to her chi . ["Even I can take direction better than Ann." -- Harry T. Rantula] Jay says to Ann, "Help me help you overcome this, 'cause I'm totally at a loss." Can someone get him career counseling? They get a beautiful shot (which is not the shot that they use at the judging panel, by the way). Bill says that they had to shoot 125 frames to get a shot, which is not good. Jay tells Bill that Ann is consistently flat on film.

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America's Next Top Model




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