Four girls return, but Tyra only has three photos. And these photos will be used in the most nonsensical elimination ceremony that I have ever seen. In a surprise move, Keenyah is called first. And at this the good citizens of the sovereign nation of Spoilerania decried their once beloved leader and would have driven her from the country with flames, were she not already banished by the Queen of Moderatiovakia. Tyra says that Keenyah's confident performance in front of the judges made them look past the extra "oomph" in her midsection. The next girl called is -- get ready for it -- Kahlen. Who was totally slammed for her performance in person as well as on the shoot. Tyra tells her to find the fire inside of her. That's it? What a rip-off. Naima and Brittany are the final two. Tyra says that the comments are not about their photos, but rather their hearts. She says that Brittany's fire and passion are slipping away, whereas Naima is kind of boring in general. Tyra wonders how Naima will relate to America. And not that the Cover Girl of the Week poll is an exact science or anything...but, I mean. Naima gets the photo, and Brittany is sent packing. It's all so wrong! Brittany hugs the girls goodbye and says "sorry" to Keenyah. She can't believe that her experience is over and says that she's going to miss the makeup, costumes, and photo shoots. We see her pictures, which are totally gorgeous. She says that she's going to miss Keenyah the most, and that the two of them are like sisters. Brittany is proud of herself for making it so far, but says it's sad to be so close and yet, so far. She exits, and her picture fades from the group shot. What a bunch of crap that was. Thanks to Tyra for reaffirming our suspicions that the judging secretly makes no sense at all.
Coming up on ANTM: a clip show on Tuesday and the finale on Wednesday. The latter will be recapped, but the former will not, so that I may retain my sanity.