America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Kissed A Male Model

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Featuring Janice Dickinson As Herself
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: the girls did their little dance on the catwalk, if by "did their little dance" you mean "fell a lot." Their runway challenge included giant cockroaches, natch, and Jade encouraged Gina's already inevitable freak-out. And it was beauty before bicuspids as Gina somehow outlasted the eliminated Kari. Ten girls remain! And boy, do they have a rough week ahead.

It is night at the House of Whore-ors. Jade says it feels like somebody died. That's because somebody did die, oh so many years ago, perhaps on the very soil where you stand! And if we're lucky, you might be next. No, that's mean. I'll settle for a vile case of hemorrhoids. Gina tells us that she was in the bottom two at the last judging, and was in utter shock that she wasn't eliminated. You and me and everyone with the gift of sight, lady. Gina says she knows that she can rock the competition, but that she's getting distracted by all of the hullabaloo with Jade. Cut to a shot of Jade telling Gina she has no sense of self. Gina says that Jade is mean and, more specifically, mean to Gina. Cut to a shot of Jade encouraging an obviously cockroach-phobic Gina to kiss a cockroach. There really is plenty of evidence to back up the "Jade's an evil skank" line of thinking, isn't there? Gina admits that her troubles with Jade are hindering her performance.

Brooke talks to Leslie and says that she's had bad pictures. Brooke interviews that, because she's being judged, she puts a lot of pressure on herself. She knows that she can be sent home for any little mistake. How about for the mistake of her parents unwisely mixing their DNA? Also, I wish they'd let Leslie talk once in a while.

Nnenna talks to her boyfriend, John, on the phone. She tells him that she loves him. In an interview, she says that he is missing her. We cut to a home video of John, and see why Nnenna does not reciprocate that sentiment. As several forum posters have said, he totally does give off a creepy Kevin Federline vibe. That is never a good thing. And did I mention he has a moustache? He is not rocking the 'stache. Really, who rocks the stache except Tom Selleck? And maybe a young Burt Reynolds. John tells Nnenna that he's scared because he doesn't know what she's been up to. He ends that statement with "honey," as if to trick us all into saying, "Wow, he really cares about her," instead of "What the fuck?" Nnenna tries to get off the phone, but John quickly asks if she's been flirting with other guys. Nnenna interviews that her gut tells her that John might be a little too controlling. I'm surprised she didn't realize that when he made her precisely line up all the can labels.

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America's Next Top Model

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