America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Kissed The Roach

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Pretty Things

Previously: Jade gave Gina a hard time, so Tyra gave Jade a hard time with a fairly hideous makeover. A nation said "Ha!" The girls froze their asses off, literally, at any icy photo shoot. Wendy did not prevail, and was sent back to God-knows-where, where she may have to swim, but at least not with the sharks.

It is night at the Castle of the Disembodied Body, post-eliminations. Mollie Sue says that she told Jade she'd be in the final two, and Brooke interviews that none of them found Jade's "near-elimination" a surprise, given all the excuses she makes at judging. We flash back to Nigel telling her not to complain, because modeling is about looking weird and being uncomfortable, and she'd better get used to it. Jade tells Furonda that she was sweating. That's a lie, because I'm sure Jade is well aware that if you're an asshole on this show, you actually get rewarded, at least for the first eight weeks. Furonda agrees that the final two is a humbling place to be. Jade says that she needs to step up her gizz-ame. And her gizzard, while she's at it.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Gina complains that the girls are living like pigs. Danielle tells her not to let it get under her skin. She helps Gina clean the counter and says that she doesn't know what Gina's been through in her life (Gina quickly answers, "Not much"), but that if you've been through hard knocks, it toughens your skin. Note to self: attempt to have bad life-altering experience so that it doesn't bother you when people leave crumbs. Gina's face has a dumb expression. In other words, she looks how she always looks. She says that Danielle has taken her under her wing a bit. Gina notes that Danielle is really strong, and admits to Danielle that she is naïve and trusting. Danielle tells Gina to stay true to who she is, but also to toughen up a little. Danielle interviews that she doesn't mind helping Gina, but that she needs her space as well. There is no room for personal space when you're within fifty feet of Gina's teeth. Danielle says that she's going to sleep, and Gina says she wants to follow her, which makes Danielle nervous. Gina asks if Danielle is going to take a shower. Danielle says she is, and Gina asks if she can watch. Danielle is all, "Hell no." She interviews that Gina got a little too comfortable, and says that she's happy to give advice every once in a while, but doesn't want Gina "all up in her zone," a.k.a. her vagina. Danielle wants none of the lady-loving, I'm sad to say. Of course, even Mary Cheney wouldn't want lady-loving from Gina either. ["Not with those teeth." -- Wing Chun]

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America's Next Top Model

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