With producers angling to find out exactly how dirty and sweaty models can get before they start to complain, the girls are broken into teams and sent out on a road trip to Palm Springs. Their challenge is to practice "Random Acts of Modeling" -- a concept coined by none other than Miss Tyra Banks herself and/or one of her minions -- at various pit stops along the way, and to shoot video segments for Nylon TV, an affiliate of Nylon magazine. The models generally seem unclear on what constitutes a Random Act of Modeling, and instead of doing everyday tasks (reading a magazine, eating chicken wings, etc.) fiercely, many of them just pose alongside random landmarks. There is a bit of a kerfluffle when Victoria seems to have incorrectly filmed one of Kiara's videos for Nylon TV, by not actually filming it at all. The team comprised of Allyssa, Laura, Kristin and Brittany decides to take some photos at a windmill farm, which, it turns out, is very, very, very windy. Nobody gets blown away, sadly. Even though the team of Kiara, Nastasia and Victoria went the extra mile by smearing condiments on their faces, the other team wins the challenge and Laura is named the individual victor. Everyone is a little sick of her being so perfect, but not in an overly hostile way.
Once in Palm Springs, the girls have little time in their motel rooms (and no access to a shower, apparently) before they are whisked off to a photo shoot that capitalizes on their grunge. Basically, they are reenacting scenes from Lindsay Lohan's life in various party girl morning-after scenarios. Spoiled food, bathroom stalls, dumpsters, and milk baths are involved, along with a lot of smeared mascara. Laura has a hard time figuring out how a person should look while puking into a toilet, while Kiara makes the most out of her dumpster Barbie scene. Victoria makes up some crazy backstory in which her character has just lost her virginity and needs to take a pregnancy test. Clearly, sperm-egg specifics are not a big part of the home school curriculum. Victoria stays in character the whole time, and neither Johnny nor the photographer bother to tell her that she just seems crazy. And poor Allyssa has to pretend to lick soda off of a cockroach-laden floor.
And then there's the more general issue of Victoria and her eating habits, or lack thereof. She's a huge stress case, and wasting away to the point where she's getting sick. The other models have noticed, and the nicer ones among them are concerned and wonder if she should voluntarily leave the competition. Victoria blames her problems on the fact that she can't taste food when she's separated from her mom, which in itself seems like a pretty big problem. Nastasia and others confront her in the house, and it also becomes an issue at panel. Though Victoria makes it to another week, Tyra has an eye on her and if disordered behavior is at play Victoria will have to leave. Meanwhile, Nastasia has the highest score for the week, while Laura and Allyssa land in the bottom two. Laura obviously isn't going anywhere, so it is Brazilian beauty Allyssa who is sent home, thus disappointing Tyra and all curvy girls everywhere.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously: Pwn pwn steampunk pwn America votes!
The girls return home to find Laura's best-of-week photo displayed as digital art. Laura, of course, is thrilled at herself for being so perfect, with the straight 10s in panel and a challenge victory. Laura says that she's always felt like she lives in the shadow of her parents, given that -- you may not have heard -- her dad was on Dynasty and her mom was a full-time model. But Laura is eager to prove to the world that she deserves this and doesn't need her parents' help. That's probably why she is so low key about the whole situation and hardly ever mentions them. It's very small-town girl of her.
While Laura continues to admire herself, Victoria is the same big crazy mess as always. She was in the bottom two for the first time last week, and says that at the moment Tyra revealed who was eliminated she was losing feeling in her feet and her breathing was getting strained. How much feeling do you think Victoria has in her feet on a normal basis? Are her feet extra sensitive like the rest of her? Does the little toe cry and cry because it's so far away from the big toe and misses it and can't taste toejam without it? We are reminded that Tyra was kind of almost nice to Victoria, giving her a place to lean so she wouldn't actually pass out. Such a nurturer, that one. Victoria tells the other girls that her near blackout was a result of being so stressed out, and they are like duh.
Perhaps inspired by all the drama that surrounded her last sojourn in the Tyra Suite, Laura decides that she will not invite a friend to share in the spoils this time. Learning from the wisdom of Victoria! This is a competition, after all, and also there are times when you just want to get away from some bitches. Meanwhile, Allyssa says that she wants to earn her time in the Tyra Suite, and not just be the invited guest of a superior model. She correctly points out that no one remembers the person who comes in second. They are, after all, the first loser. Unless that first loser is Clay Aiken, in which case you could never forget the dulcet tones of "On the Wings of Love" bursting forth from his crooked little mouth. I was so into him on the last season of Celebrity Apprentice, too. It made me feel a little weird inside, to be honest. Allyssa says that that she hasn't found her full potential yet, but once she does, she's not letting go. This is a dead giveaway that she's going home, right? Allyssa tells us that there's a lot at stake for her, representing as she does the much-maligned and degraded curvy Brazilian women. Yes, you NEVER hear anything good about that particular subgroup, or see them gracing the pages of your Victoria's Secret catalog or anything. What a bunch of dogs, says society! Your perfect voluptuous ass just broke the camera!
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