Lady lovers, torn apart! And little Cassie Pan, flying back to Neverland! In this jam-packed episode, a sequin-flippered Miss J. has the girls practice their runway walks around a pool before they must compete in a challenge for designer Sue Wong that involves a turning runway platform and elaborate dresses. Bre is totally great and wins. Later, Kim and Sarah do some making out under the covers, despite Sarah's assurance to her boyfriend that she "doesn't swing that way." The girls next embark on a hilarious photo shoot that involves a treadmill and a green screen and Kim reveals herself to be kind of a player. And then stupid Cassandra won't let Mr. Jay and the ANTM stylists cut another inch off her hair. She thinks her decision is based on principle, but really she is just a dumb-ass. Jay tells her to leave his set, and she leaves the house. This all gets less time and dramatic import than you might think, because the show hates Cassandra, and with good reason. At Panel, each girl gets a test on her "signature walk," and Kim makes a disclaimer that irks the judges. In the end, Kim and her lady lover are wrenched apart as Sarah is finally sent back to Boonville.
Previously on ANTM: others laughed as Cassandra had her hair massacred and cried like a baby; Sarah found "relief" "from the competition" in her "friendship" with "Kim"; and Ebony was axed, thus also eliminating our only chance for amusing commentary. Eleven girls remain!
The girls eat out (and no, Kim lovers, that is not a euphemism) and discuss how tough and emotional panel was. The nearly-eliminated Diane says that being in the bottom two is just going to make her work harder. Then Tyra walks in to talk to the girls about the panel, and to let them know that it's been particularly hard for the judges because all the girls are modelesque. And there's no Janice to call someone ugly or fat straight out. Kim interviews that Tyra's visit was helpful and comforting. Jayla tells Tyra that her biggest problem is that she can't tell how her body looks. Tyra says that, with enough practice, you can step out of your body and see it, which probably indicates some weird cross-over with a The Tyra Banks Show episode on psychics. She tells them that, one day, modeling will be second nature to them, except, of course, for those who get cut in the next six weeks.
Tyra Mail! "Get ready to swim with the sharks. Be ready at 12 PM." Finally, there will be bloodshed! Oh, how I have dreamed of this day. I would like to fashion earrings made of mackerel pieces for Lisa to wear on this special occasion. Sarah interviews that, after such a long, stressful day, the girls like to crash and regroup. And what better way to regroup than with some lady-lovin'? Sarah and Kim sit outside and talk about relationships. Kim interviews that she and Sarah once tipsily made out in a limo, which gives the editors an excuse to show us the footage again. Slurp, slurp, cantaloupe lips. Kim says that she's dealt with straight girls for years and knows them like the back of her hand or, alternately, the tip of her tongue. Kim says something to Sarah about her last three girlfriends having "attachment issues," of which Kim herself has none. I don't quite get what this means. Did they Velcro themselves to her flannel? Anyway, said girlfriends with their attachment issues freaked out when Kim allowed herself to become vulnerable. Sarah interviews that she didn't mean to gravitate toward Kim, but that, quite frankly, she would like to sup on a delicious bit of her pudding. Actually, she says that with so much tension in the house, it's easy to focus your energies on one person. Sarah tells Kim that she always feels tied down and thinks she hasn't met "the right person." Ho hum.