You know who is not the happiest person in the world right now? Kaci. Her poor, deceased grandmother must be so disappointed. Or, if she had any sense, glad. Briana tells all the fans out there who did not vote for her that they can kiss her black behind. Has she also been rejected from American Idol? That felt very familiar. We see lots of tears from strangers who weren't even worth of speaking during the episode, and then Jasmine meows her goodbye.
But who cares about those losers? We have our final 13, and they are invited to run amok in their new Hansel and Gretel house. Let's hope someone left a trail of breadcrumbs back to the room where panel is held. There are theme rooms in the house. Kiara makes herself at home in the sporty fierce room, while Jessie and Leila are happy enough to be in the geek chic room. Kristin gravitates toward the obnoxious pink room. She places herself right in the center, because she thinks the world should revolve around her. Her words! There is a collective booty tooch of celebration, more tears of happiness, an overdose of sincerity, and we're out!
Next week: Some sort of nightclub runway show, apparently. Destiny gets a low score, and Kiara suggests that it might be because she was too stripper-ish. That does not go over so well. And surprise surprise, Victoria is too much even for this crowd of drama queens.
Potes thanks America's Next Top Model in advance for totally ruining her Friday nights. She can be tweeted @traciepotes or emailed at firstname.lastname@example.org.