America's Next Top Model
America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
Potes: B+ | 798 USERS: C+
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Sister Christian, Oh, The Time Has Come

Meanwhile, there is Tyra Mail, which is now fashioned like one of those pull-out subscription cards from a magazine. Clever. Melrose discovers it and brings it out to the rest of the girls, who are in the hot tub. It reads, "People think models are stupid, anorexic, drug addicted bitches. Are YOU????" The funny part is that there's a big checkmarked box on the card that says, "YES!" Ha! I bet Janice Dickinson filled that one out. Melrose thinks that they're doing a shoot tomorrow. Anchal says that she knows she's not anorexic because she can't stop eating. You and me both, sister.

The next day, the girls head to a lovely house, out of which emerges a monster dressed as Tyra, or vice versa. Tyra screams in a French accent (?!?!) and asks where the photographer is, and who these young bitches are. I watched this part with my boss, who said, "Tyra Banks has no business trying to act." Tyra screams that she is the only supermodel in the world, and is almost thirty-five, and doesn't like young bitches." Christian conjectures that Tyra's gone off some meds. Maybe that explains the weight gain. Tyra runs around and screams some more, and frankly it's really embarrassing and uncomfortable to watch. What they should have done is just invited Janice to come, and not told her anything about the shoot or what she was supposed to do, and just let her interact with the girls. Or just showed some old footage of her. Tyra screams that she's leaving the set and isn't coming back until the prepubescent bitches are gone. And then the greatest thing happens and she totally trips and falls on her face. The girls all laugh, perhaps because they think it's part of the act, or perhaps just because it's funny when people fall. It would have been better if her wig flew off. Tyra screams her way off the set. Jesus.

America's Next Top Model

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