America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Marks Her Territory

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Sister Christian, Oh, The Time Has Come

And now it's time for the first cut, delivered by the Jays. Amanda says that it's very nerve-wracking, because they might move both she and her sister Michelle on to the next round, or one of them, or neither. Well, I think she's successfully covered all of the options, there. The girls have to run into a salon behind them, in which there are twenty-one magazines with Tyra on the cover. Of course. In each is a photo tear shit of one girl, and these of course represent the girls who move on to the next stage of the competition. The girls run in the erratic manner of a stampede of bitches. Moving on are: Christian, Amanda, Michelle, Megg, Jaslene, Jaeda, Monique, CariDee, Eugena, Megan, Becky, Brittany, LeAngela, Brooke, Ginger, Anchal, A.J., Melrose, and Evita. Wait, I must have missed two. I'm sure we'll figure out which ones eventually. Or maybe not, because that's how little they matter. The winners are all happy and screaming, and the losers have big tears. Cyndel says it's cool that she didn't make it, and wishes LeAngela luck. She's going to keep on loving herself and not let this be a downfall for her. She says she's not a sore loser. See, Cyndel does indeed have a heart of gold.

The Jays gather the girls who are moving on and say that they're throwing them right into work with a very important photo shoot. Ginger says that she loves taking photos and is stoked to get going with the next part of the competition. Not so fast, little Republican friend. Jay says that there are makeup and hair extensions that the girls should avail themselves of. They have fifteen minutes to get ready. The hair pieces look crazily hideous, but those who used them will be glad. Because, you guessed it, they will be shooting Lady Godiva-style. Buck nekkid! The first reaction is, of course, from Ginger, who says that she thinks it's wrong to expose your private parts for people to see. She says she can't do it. This is why you never see a naked Republicans calendar for charity. Commercials.

Actually, rather than commercials proper, we get a fashion week review and style tips courtesy of The CW. And you, Mr. Style Tipper Ashley Javier, are no Jay Manuel. And I mean, thank God, because do we really need two? Nevertheless, get some real advertisers, The CW.

When we return, Becky, the pig-farmer, is crying. She says that she's a good girl from a small town, and it's hard for her to know that she's going to get nekkid to fulfill her dreams, but go home and have so many people be mad at her. I don't know why any of these girls would think Season 7 would get a naked bye. They must watch the show. Jay tells them that it's important to understand that nudity in a shot can be very classic, and there's a fine line between sleazy versus sexy, and flashy versus trashy. He does not mention which side of the line they'll be on today, what with their synthetic hair pieces and all.

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America's Next Top Model

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