America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Mutilated The Precious Brownies

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Smells Like Cupcakes

Next is Yaya, who says that, based on the judges' feedback, she stripped away the traces of "danceration" that are instinctual to her, which made her shoot a bit boring. Jay says that Yaya took the judges' advice to the extreme, which isn't helping her. So you're only supposed to do what they tell you by half, or sometimes, or maybe not at all? What? Amanda is next, and she rocks the shoot. Eva interviews that Amanda was doing dancer-like poses, and Yaya was getting pissy about it. Eva mocks Yaya's pissiness. Jay calls Amanda over and tells her that she "super-impressed" him, and that she's the only girl who got the shoot. Yaya pisses pissily on the sidelines. Oh, the irony! The sweet, sweet irony! Shut up, Yaya. Eva interviews, "It's always an excuse for everything. It can't be because...you're not perfect. Noooo. Miss Yaya doesn't think so." And man, I can't WAIT to see the two of them get into a real smackdown. Yaya climbs back up on the trampoline and does the moves that she really would have liked to do. She tells Jay that she gets told week after week not to look so much like a dancer. Jay says, "You shouldn't take everything as a hard and fast rule...In this world, ten people are going to say, 'Don't do this, don't do this, don't do this, don't do this.' You know what you're going to end up with? Nothing to do." Except in this case it was three or four people all telling her the exact same thing. Whatever. Everyone on this show is incompetent. Except Janice, who falls into her own special category of competence. Commercials.

And now it's time for the Cover Girl Beauty Tip of the Week, presented in its entirety. And seriously, I made the mistake of fast-forwarding through these during the first four episodes. If you know what's good for you, start watching them, because they are truly hilarious. And Jay Manuel? Don't try acting, don't try acting, don't try acting, don't try acting. And please end up with nothing to do, and get off of my TV screen.

Horsy Foreign Model: [at wit's end] With the weather getting colder, my skin is getting dryer!
Small Orange Man: [knowingly] Now is the time to give your skin the extra help it needs.
HFM: [matter-of-factly] What can I do?
SOM: [confident, despite being an incompetent boob] Make sure your foundation has moisturizers in it. I like CoverGirl AquaSmooth. It has moisturizers that help your skin from being dry in cold weather.

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America's Next Top Model

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