America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Mutilated The Precious Brownies

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Smells Like Cupcakes

Yaya interviews that putting on fatigues and acting like she's moving through the jungle isn't her idea of a good time. But Yaya...killing people is funny! Also, shut up, you pinko commie. Ann is predictably pumped. The girls race through the course, falling quite hilariously many times. Ann interviews that she's always been good at everything she's ever done, including sports. Yaya interviews that she gets a really competitive vibe from Ann. Ann is the top athlete but Yaya is also seen as physical because she dances. She's a dancer? I wouldn't have guessed. Cassie is not having much success on the rope climb. Yaya says that Cassie didn't want to participate, and was putting in minimum effort. Captain Leif yells at her a bit, and asks her what she's proud of today. She says nothing, then snots that if she wanted to be in the military, she would have signed up for the military. Eva interviews, "Cassie is the biggest punk I have ever met." Once again, a spot-on observation from Eva. And also, that's saying a lot. Amanda interviews that she wanted Captain Leif to yell at Cassie more and call her a maggot. Cassie interviews that the whole exercise is dumb and cheesy and that she hates it. She cries in the obstacle course that she wants to go back to Oklahoma and the comfort of her pole and pasties. This whole incident is totally proving to us that those stripper workouts that seem to be all the rage these days are a huge crock of shit. Ha! Eat carbs and do some weight training. I love the lessons of this installment of Top Model. Eva interviews that the purpose of the course was to teach the girls tenacity and endurance, and not to give up in the face of adversity. Captain Leif sits the tired-looking girls down after the work out. He says that some of them did amazingly well, and some not so well, and that he'll be seeing them again soon. The girls give a groan of anticipation. The bad kind.

The girls drive to another location where they meet...Captain Wade! Norelle mocks the way that he says, "Hello, ladies." He continues, "Didn't think you'd see me so soon." Captain Wade is totally like that male gym teacher that you had in high school, who wore really short shorts and was all awkward and uncomfortable when he had to talk about reproduction during the health component. Captain Wade tells the girls that their challenge for the day is to race to the top of the stairs in the building, which is a fourteen-story high rise. The person with the fastest time wins. Ann interviews that she and Yaya were the only ones who were really motivated to excel at the challenge. The girls race up one after one, some of them looking quite tired. Cassie interviews that she actually put forth a little bit of effort because she didn't want to finish last. As Eva, the first contender, gets to the top of the stairs and emerges onto the roof of the building, Captain Wade says, "A top model needs to look good on a moment's notice. You now have a photo shoot." Eva pants and gags, and interviews that she couldn't even breathe so figured she might as well smile in the pictures. The girls pose, looking totally tired. When Captain Wade tells her that she has a photo shoot, Toccara says, "No I don't!" She interviews that she thinks the photo shoot sucked.

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America's Next Top Model

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