America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Needs A Miracle

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Nicole interviews that her only worry in competing against Diane was whether the show could find an outfit to fit both of them. Ouch. And speaking of ouch, Jay makes Diane leap across a little brook and she cuts her knee. The photographer calls for a band-aid. Modeling is dangerous! Nicole does a good job of taking Jay's direction, such as it is, and looks kind of awesome.

Kim talks to the wardrobe stylists about her androgyny. She says that she's hanging on by a string, and that if they tell her she looks like a man in a dress again, there is going to be trouble. ["If she doesn't want to be told she looks like a man in a dress, why does she dress like Alex P. Keaton? Shut up, Kim, you just want attention." -- Wing Chun] Kyle goes first and poses in a sleek suit with a big top hat. She looks okay, but Jay says that he's not getting soft and feminine out of her. Kim, on the other hand, is looking super-foxy. Jay screams, "Don't get cocky now," and Kim counters, "Believe me, I won't." She interviews that she knew she could do this and work both her masculinity and femininity. Jay marvels that the seemingly masculine girl could make a suit look feminine while the feminine girl couldn't pull it off.

Cassandra interviews that she doesn't mind having Jayla as a partner because she seemed a little weak at the last elimination. Oh, go restock the spoon-straws by the Slurpee machine, Betty Lou. I think Jayla looks kind of awkward, but Jay and the photographer seem to like it. Jay tells Cassandra to slouch a little bit, and not to be so prissy and forced. Cassandra interviews that she always sits up very straight with her shoulders back, so she couldn't hunch successfully. Jay says that working with Cassandra wasn't a "super-joy" because he felt like they kept trying to make her into a model. Isn't that kind of the point of the show? Jay murmurs, "She needs a miracle," as Cassandra interviews that she thinks she did well at the shoot and hopes that it will compensate for her crappy attitude at the makeovers.

Tyra Mail! Someone is going to be eliminated. The girls hang out in the hot tub and discuss. Ebony says that all the other girls are so pretty and they make her feel like the ugliest person in the house sometimes. Sometimes? Oh, I guess when Lisa's not in the room. Lisa then forcefully points and says sternly, "I told you guys in the beginning I was gonna win this." Oh, Lisa. Take a pretty pill and we'll discuss this again in the morning. Lisa always has an ominous plastic cup in her hand, because she totally loves the boozing. She interviews that she doesn't think she's the next to go at all and thinks that the judges can see how driven she is. She yells in the hot tub in kind of a southern accent that she doesn't think the other girls know what she had to do to get that far. She is so weird. But even weirder is Cassandra, who interviews that if modeling doesn't work out, she'll definitely go back to pageants: "That really helps you develop as a woman where modeling is just more of a...career." Oh, those evil careers! And some of them don't even have a swimsuit competition or require you to put Vaseline on your teeth. ["That remark was such a brilliant retort to all those bitches who are like, 'Miss America's a scholarship competition!' No it ain't." -- Wing Chun]

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America's Next Top Model

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