America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Needs Six Months Of Modeling School

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Djb: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Stopping Short

Camille and Eric have a fight when she marches up and announces something about circles on her ring and her handbag. "All I'm saying is that it's not brain surgery," Eric says, and she shoots back, "I want to be right." Too bad she's actually good, because otherwise that would have been the last thing we ever heard her say.

Jenascia is wearing a hateful hat.

Catie's Marilyn shot pulls in the best line of the night when Janice tells her, "You look like a beautiful guy here." Catie flinches but doesn't cry. Whatever. I'm sure she'll cry later.

Eric has been given so few opportunities to string three words together that he goes for the money shot of "Nubian space goddess" when describing Xiomara's photo. Nigel notes, "Grace would be proud."

But then, when just the panel convenes, Janice doesn't like Yoanna's possessed eyes. Sara is seen as being "one-note with the face." Janice likes Camille's Diana but hates her attitude, and Jenascia is, according to Janice, "still too short." Betsey remembers where she is long enough to like Shandi. April is once again seen by Tyra as being "too analytical," because of all of the trigonometry lessons she keeps accidentally teaching during her photo shoots, I guess. Catie is "dead in front of the camera," and Betsey finally registers some real criticism in admitting, "I don't think she's strong enough to cut it." Mercedes has lupus. Tyra wasn't happy with Xiomara on set, noting, "Ethnic women never want to be darker...I was just a little insulted by that." Man, this has taken a turn for the serious. Race relations. Disease. Pestilence. Locusts. What's next, slaying of the first-born Tyra Mail? (I have almost no idea what that means.)

And, here we go:

Mercedes, Tyra conveniently notes, doesn't seem to have the energy she used to, but she's still in the running to become America's Next Top Model. So are Xiomara, Shandi, Yoanna, Sara, April, and Camille. Tyra tells Camille that her picture is "absolutely gorgeous," but adds, "Another thing you have that Diana is known for is a diva attitude." And failing a DUI test outside of Tucson, which Camille also seems destined for when she finally snaps. Which is when you'll really get to see her chops -- when she's photographed pulling off just about the most convincing Nick Nolte in the history of modern law enforcement.

Jenascia gave a great Salma Hayek, Tyra says, but she needs to overcompensate. Catie's Marilyn Monroe was awesome, but is she strong enough to handle this business? Yes, yes she is. Jenascia is out, and the hat is still on. As she escapes the loft, she tells us, "I'm gonna go back to slinging chicken wings at Hooter's." They'll always have her back. They'll always have her back at the DQ.

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America's Next Top Model

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