And just when you think things couldn't get any gayer, we cut to Melrose in a gold lamé dress on her assignment for ET. She's covering the red carpet for some sort of CW event, where there are all sorts of CW "stars." I'm sorry, but I don't know who these people are. Oh, except I do know Tyra. Melrose asks Tyra what the most uncomfortable thing is that she's wearing. Tyra says it's her shoes, and then both she and Melrose take off their shoes. I bet they cut the shot of Kristen Bell asking aloud, "Is someone eating cheese?" Tyra compliments Melrose on how well she's doing. Melrose is excited and thinks it's a great prize. And really, Melrose is the perfect choice for it, given that those entertainment-show correspondents are on the whole some of the most ingratiating and annoying humans on the planet.

Back at home, there is Tyra Mail! "Tomorrow you'll work with the person who knows you best." Caridee thinks that this means they'll have to work with family. I hope it means that they all have to model alongside Angela's mom.

The girls arrive at a studio where they meet Jay, who tells them that they'll pose with themselves in a photograph. They'll shoot each girl once, send her back to hair and makeup, and then shoot her again. And I'm sure those of you who love high fashion will be thrilled to know that the girls will be posing as celebrity couples. The assignments are as such: Caridee will be Brad and Angelina; Brooke will be Britney and K-Fed; Eugena will be Beyoncé and Jay-Z; A.J. will be J. Lo and Marc Anthony; Michelle is Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi (HA!); Amanda will be Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher; Jaeda will be "Bobby and Whitney Houston"; Anchal will be Oprah Winfrey and Stedman (DOUBLE HA!); and Melrose will be Donald Trump and Melania (TRIPLE HA!). Melrose complains good-naturedly about having to be Donald Trump. I can't believe that no one has to be Ice-T and Coco.

Jay tells the girls that, to photograph them as celebrities, they needed to get a photographer who makes his living photographing celebrities. But they couldn't find one, so instead they got frequent Tyra Banks fellater Matthew Jordan Smith. Matthew tells the girls that they will work harder today than they ever have in their lives. Really? They've had some easy-ass lives.