America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Punk'd Ashton

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A.J. From The Block

La Dickinson emerges from her limo, looking fierce as always. Caridee is first to interview her. In all fairness, given the way Caridee is looking right now, it's possible that Janice thought a streetwalker was assaulting her. Caridee asks Janice what makes her Janice Dickinson, who is so "over...I can't think of the word right now." Janice tries to help her with sign language. Caridee then asks her what makes her so "overpungent." Ha! In an interview, Caridee laments that "overpungent" is a smell, a very strong smell. Take out the word "over" and she's at least on the right track. The funny thing is that Janice could probably answer that in one word: formaldehyde.

Next, Brooke accosts Janice and says that she's looking sexy. Good start, good start. Mark tells Brooke to make Janice like her. Then Brooke asks, "What makes you so bitchy?" Again, I feel like she could answer this with a simple "The Quaaludes." Instead, Janice flounces away all pretend-mad. Or maybe real mad. Mark feels sorry for whoever has to go next.

That person happens to be Anchal, who is clueless enough as it is. Janice asks Anchal where she's from, and Anchal forgets (a) that she should be doing the interviewing, and (b) what to do with the microphone.

Next, Eugena gets off to a good start and then a bird poops on Janice. Well, it was bound to happen at some point.

Next, Michelle twitchily asks Janice if there's any inappropriate time for a model to have an attitude. Janice says that she doesn't even know how to answer the question because Michelle is moving so much. Michelle interviews that she tried to get some good sound bites, but that most of those happened to be of Janice making fun of her. Hey, at least Michelle isn't dead to Janice. As of yet. Michelle messes up the designer's name, and Janice is appalled.

Then there's Amanda, who tries to ask a question about Janice being the world's first supermodel. However, she's all bumbling and can't get it right, and then Janice asks Amanda to tell Janice what a supermodel is. Amanda has no clue. Mark says that if Amanda were a model correspondent on his show, they'd have to light a fire under her. Dude, they've let Mary Hart run amok all lobotomized for the last sixty years; you'd think they could cut Amanda some slack.

A.J. starts to talk to Janice, who rightfully asks what the hell is up with A.J.'s ugly pink hat. Janice tells her that the hat looks like it's got mothballs in it. Actually, I think she means that it looks like it doesn't have mothballs in it, and has been eaten by moths. Sometimes with Janice you just have to go with the spirit of what she's saying rather than getting too technical. Mark tells A.J. to get the focus of the interview back on to Janice. Janice asks A.J. to take off the hat, which A.J. does. Somehow in this process, Janice has ended up with the microphone. Mark says that A.J. has lost the interview. It's true. A.J. forgets her questions, and eventually just thanks Janice for her time. Janice notes to everyone else standing around that A.J. has broken into hives and is all red. I think those might actually be cooties she caught from Janice.

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America's Next Top Model

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