America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Pushes Tyra Over The Edge

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Au Revoir, Bitches!

Previously: Michelle's scabies cleared up and she regained her confidence despite looking like she crawled up from the sewers of Middle Earth. Meanwhile, Tiffany began to lose her mojo and Brittany tried to emulate her predecessor, Janice Dickinson, by drinking all the alcohol available within a three-mile radius. At a blatant T&A photo shot, Lluvy and Rebecca struggled to be sexy enough but failed. Lluvy was eventually put out of her misery and sent home, despite actually being quite ppretty. Nine girls remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?

It is night in Los Angeles. Rebecca notes that her room seems empty since three of her roommates have been eliminated. She says that she really liked the recently eliminated Lluvy, who left a nice note on her bed. Kahlen says that it was hard to see Rebecca and Lluvy in the final two last week, and that Rebecca is her best friend in the house. Rebecca interviews that being in the final two was terrifying, and says that she needs to be sexier and edgier to counter the judges' criticism that she looks too sweet and innocent. She continues that it's difficult to give the contest her full concentration, because she feels like she should be home with her fiancé, Todd. Oh come on. Live a little, Betty Crocker. Rebecca says to Kahlen that she needs to improve, and Kahlen says, "Yours is just your face, though. That's something you can easily fix." Unless you are Michelle, in which case no amount of maxillofacial surgery will make you look like a real live woman. A rat-weaved Kahlen interviews that she is nervous about being typecast as the unconfident, shy girl. She says that it is difficult to overcome twenty years of her life in a few short weeks. And she doesn't even come from the ghetto, y'all.

Brittany tells us that the girls are going out to dinner, to "the famous restaurant Dolce, which Ashton Kutcher owns." And in keeping with Ashton's preferences, Dolce only serves meat that's old, used up, surgically enhanced, and desperate for publicity. The girls settle in at their table, and Tiffany comments that she likes the menu because it's simple. She tells us yet again that she's from the hood, and that the whole Top Model experience is vastly different from anything she's ever done. Waiters serve the girls tuna tartare and calamari. Tiffany says in a funny way that she's going to try something. She asks Kahlen what is in front of her and Kahlen says, "Tuna tartare. It's raw." Exasperated, Tiffany says, "Kahlen. Raw what, exactly?" Kahlen hilariously retorts, "It's tuna." And you know Tiffany is thinking, "But how do I know it's tuna if that little fish with the spectacles isn't on the can?" I mean, I understand that she may not know what "tar tar" means or be keen on eating raw fish, but the word "tuna" is right in the name. Just listen, fool.

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America's Next Top Model

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