America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Retaliates

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Red Bullshit

When we return, there is Tyra Mail. Someone will be eliminated, and not a minute too soon. Bre interviews that she knows she's probably going to go home for what she did to Nicole. But, she says, she doesn't really like Nicole, so she doesn't feel bad for doing it. Nicole and Kim discuss how terrible it would be for one another if one of them went home. Nicole interviews that she thinks the person who should be going home is Bre, of the vicious, mean personality. Kim pours some wine and says that the girls might as well toast to the night. "What a day it's been," Kim says. She confessionalizes that she's staying away from Bre because she doesn't trust her. Well, now's a fine time. Bre eats on her bed and looks kind of mean slash guilty.

And finally, we are at judging. There are prizes, there are judges. Barry Lategan is the guest judge. He says, "Good evening, welcome to your future." How foreboding. Their future holds a whole lotta bitchery, I guess. Bre is first, and Tyra instantly asks, "What's wrong?" Bre starts with an "I think that you...okay," and then stops. Mmm-hmmmm. Tyra tells Bre that the challenge for the week is to hold a stoic pose for one minute. She starts to do this, and the judges act like fools. The challenge is the same for the four other girls. Nicole has no idea what "stoic" means, so Tyra bounces backward across the table and tells Barry she knows he wants her booty. Okay, Bre isn't the only one who's lost her mind.

The girls reconvene for their evaluation. Nicole did a pretty good job of keeping herself together with lots of craziness going on, says Nigel, even though her pose was odd. Miss J. calls Nicole out on her behavior amongst the pigeons, and she says that she has a little bit of a fear of birds, which is why she's taken pains to educate herself about them so well. Tyra notes that Eva had a terrible fear of spiders which she conquered for a gorgeous photo in Season 3. Twiggy says that she would have been out if she'd had to pose with a spider. Miss J. says that he has a fear of drag queens, and Tyra yells, "Fear of self!" Nicole's Girl with a Pearl Earring photo is met at first with some silence, until Twiggy says that that the painting is all about the look in the girl's eyes, and that Nicole's photo captures that perfectly, even with that ugly-ass '80s background behind her. Barry says, "Thanks, Twigs, that's what I was trying to get out of her." Speaking of twigs, does anybody remember a children's book with a lady who was all made of twigs? She was a total bitch and always was sweeping with a little twig broom, and one time a bird took her to be part of his nest. So, she was kind of like Bre, but...you know, made of twigs. Anyway, if you know the title of that book, email me! It totally haunts me. Tyra says that looking through Nicole's film showed that it was very difficult for her to get this pose, and that Nicole needs to relax more. Nicole chirps, "Okay!," because the judges love that, and goes back in line.

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America's Next Top Model

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