America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Retaliates

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Red Bullshit

The girls are each adorned in a toga and placed on a pedestal while holding two shallow bowls. The look screams Greek chic. Nicole interviews that she was thinking she could totally do it and win the challenge. And then, she is attacked by pigeons. Cue clown music. I love that, somewhere, someone has trained pigeons to attack models. I bet it was Bert. Nicole has no focus amidst the vermin birds. Miss J. tap dances. A pigeon lands on Nik's head, and she doesn't move. That does require some concentration. Kim interviews that pigeons are the dirtiest birds ever. Bre says that she has a pigeon on her head (and one on her shoulder, I might add), and Miss J. tells her not to worry, because they're toilet-trained. It becomes clear that the shallow bowls the girls are holding are filled with seed that, in keeping with the British theme, cost a tuppence a bag. Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag. Feed the birds, bitches! Bre says that pigeons are basically flying rats, who also eat rats, and would eat Bre if they could. Also, blind. Nik interviews that she knew she needed to step up her game, and true to form, she doesn't blink an eye. Just like Sarah, the pigeons are all over Kim. One pigeon perches on her head, and another pigeon perches on top of that pigeon, because the female in that couple has bicurious tendencies and they think that maybe Kim answered their personal ad. Which, she probably did. Kim says that, by the end, she didn't mind the pigeons, and the way they scratched her head felt kind of nice. I can buy that. I love a good head scratch. Kim's headband falls over her eyes, and Miss J. says that Kim doesn't have any distractions now because she can't see a damn thing. Jason says that Kim wasn't very imaginative with her poses. He also says that Jayla looks like she was concentrating too hard. Nicole interviews that she started crying and felt like a huge fool, but that she just doesn't like having large birds on top of her. Again, not really unreasonable. Miss J. coos and primps and the challenge is over.

Back in their bus or van or whatever non-Hummer limo they have in England, Bre tells the others that the pigeon debacle made for the funniest challenge ever. Nicole says that she was humiliated. Bre interviews that Nicole complains about everything. Cut to Nicole complaining about the challenge. Bre says that Nicole's voice is annoying, sharp, and alarming. Cut to Nicole vocalizing things in an annoying, sharp, and alarming manner. Cut to Bre saying that her hair "is always at ends" when Nicole talks. And say what you will about her, but Bre is kind of right about Nicole being annoying.

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America's Next Top Model

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