Ann is next. Janice tells her that she came out looking like an East German swimmer. This makes Ann feel strangely attracted to herself. Tyra tells her to take the strength of being an athlete, but get the sex appeal and stomp and fierceness of being a model. The judges are wowed by Ann's photo. Next is Amanda. Nigel tells Amanda that she shouldn't look down, and asks if she wears glasses or contacts. Oh, here we go. Blah blah blah eye disease, legally blind. But then she says, and I quote, "I'm assuming in around five years I'm gonna be completely blind." And at this, my mom said, "'Assuming'?" Even my mom called bullshit on Amanda. Heatherette looks a bit bewildered. Janice says that she's walked off of plenty of runways. Heh. The judges love Amanda's photo, as usual.
"Kristi" walks in, and Janice shields her eyes. Nigel says he almost backed up in his chair because it looked like a train wreck was coming toward him. Tyra says that in the last Victoria's Secret fashion show, she had to wear size 7.5 shoes, and she is normally a 10. First of all, ouch. And second of all, that was just a sorry excuse to show Tyra strutting around in her undies. The judges hate "Kristi's" shot and say she looks "chinnish." Next is Norelle, who is hilariously unable to walk in the heels. Sometimes I think Norelle is a plant. Not a literal plant, like a ficus...though, actually, there is that too. Janice tells Norelle to hop on one foot and cracks herself (and me) up. Janice is the best. She's like the Marquis de Sade and a really pretty drag queen all rolled up into one. Nolé tells Norelle that she looks like the broken Tin Man, which is the second time that he's compared a model to a broken something. I think Nolé looks like a perfectly intact though slightly more ethnic Pillsbury Doughboy. Norelle says that this is the first time she's ever walked in heels. What about earlier, on the runway? Janice says that she was wearing heels when she was seven. I think Norelle probably has never really worn heels because she's so tall and didn't want to tower over her loser band geek prom date. Not that I'd know anything about that, of course. Heatherette tells her to eat, sleep, and drink heels. A light bulb clicks on above Cassie's head as she calculates just how calorie-efficient such a diet would be. Norelle's photo is great, and Tyra says that the other girls should be "scurred."
Toccara tears it up. She looks totally comfortable until the judges ask how she really feels in the heels, and then she breaks down in a good-natured way. Everyone is impressed by how confident she is with her body, and how sexy she looks. I know it's crazy, but I seriously think Toccara might win. Her photo is great. Next is Eva. The judges think that she looks too dainty when she walks, and that they'd like to see more of the "tough, sexy, gorgeous little tomboy" that climbs into Ann's bed each night. And I think this might be the only time that we hear the judges say that someone should look more like a lesbian. "Work that mullet like Mary Cheney just crawled through your bedroom window, girl!" Eva's photo is good, though she looks a little stiff. Next is Yaya, and Tyra said she looks like she's in Coming to America. The judges love her photo and say it's one of the best of the night. And next, Jennipher. She clomps in, turns around, and lifts up the bottom of her dress to expose her butt cheeks, upon which is written "ANTM." Janice says, "Oh my God," and flops her head down on the desk, and the worst part about all of this is that Jennipher doesn't even realize that she's made a big blunder. She laughs and actually does a little shimmy. Oh, Jennipher. Janice asks her what the deal was, and Jennipher says that she thought that since her butt was going to show anyway, she'd go the extra mile to get it noticed. Janice is not amused. The judges hate Jennipher's photo.