America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Sings for Alicia Keys

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In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: Social media, blah blah blah. Are you drunk with power yet, America??????

We enter with the girls returning home to find Laura's best-of-week photo displayed as digital art. Laura tells us that she was nervous coming into the competition, because she's never been an up-and-down flat board size zero of a girl. She's here representing the healthy-bodied ladies, she says. Wow, what a role model! It's so BRAVE to be a size TWO! Laura starts rambling on about something, but I am too distracted by the fact that Nastasia seems to be frying spaghetti to pay attention to what she's saying. What IS that delicious concoction she is making? Whatever it is, I want some.

I am snapped out of my visual food coma by Leila saying that nothing has ever come easy to her, starting from the time when she was a tall, lanky, gap-toothed youth. Leila knows that Laura comes from a good household, and is envious of her. This statement is followed by an obviously stitched on clip of Leila saying that she loves Laura and that the two of them get along really well. We flash back to Leila sharing the Tyra Suite with Laura when it was her best photo week. Apparently they had discussed Laura choosing Leila to share in the spoils were she also to get best photo. Cut to one of the bedrooms, where Kristin asks Laura if she's dropped the bomb that it is not Leila but Kristin who will get to share in the glory of the Tyra Suite. Laura is afraid that this announcement is going to cause drama, and Kristin theorizes that that's because Leila is obsessed with her. Laura cackles that Leila even wrote her a note on the bus about why she should be picked for Tyra Suite shenanigans, and Allyssa is in shock. Poor Leila! I fear that Kristin might eventually dump a bucket of pig's blood on her head and shit will get REAL.

As the girls eat dinner, Laura announces that she has chosen Kristin to share the Tyra Suite, and tells Leila not to get mad. Leila rolls her eyes in response, which I think is appropriate. Laura then calls her out for said eye-rolling, which only adds to the obsession narrative. Leila claims that she's not mad about not being picked for the Tyra Suite. Rather, she's mad that Kristin was picked. And really, even though I do occasionally enjoy Kristin's stankitude, if there was ever doubt that Laura was a mean girl I think you could make a strong case based on the company that she keeps. And as for Leila, why be obsessed with a jerk? Go be obsessed with Victoria instead, like I am!

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America's Next Top Model

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