America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Sings for Alicia Keys

Episode Report Card
Potes: B+ | Grade It Now!
Bring It On

Laura then walks in, and after a brief moment of sticking her tongue out to the camera, Leila asks Laura directly about the obsession situation. As Laura hems and haws about the fact that she's never herself directly said that Leila has an obsession issue (though she sure has enjoyed it when others said it!), Leila tells Laura how she really feels: that Laura is obsessed with herself. Laura acts all shocked that Leila had it inside her to say such a mean thing, when she herself has been cackling and eye-rolling about Leila this whole time. As a crowd gathers, Leila starts going on about how weird it is that everyone thinks she's obsessed with another GIRL, and how upsetting it is that she's being alienated. She is? I mean, calm down everyone. But there is no calming down to be had and Laura, probably because she's so self-obsessed and needed to find a way to get the attention back on herself, starts to cry. She says that it's just like high school and she feels attacked. Meanwhile, I shit you not, Victoria is doing stretches on the bed while she reads a book. Whilst wearing zebra print leggings. God, I love her. Oops, but then there her zebra legs are directly behind Laura. Whether Victoria's special brand of magic is cobbled together by editors or not, I still love her.

But back to fucking Laura. Apparently, people in high school used to tell her that she was obsessed with herself. Well, there is one notable common denominator here. Laura says that people thought she was a rich, stuck-up girl because her parents were in the entertainment industry, and picked on her just because she was different, and because they could. Wow, the dangers of being a small town girl! And here I thought Mayberry was such a nice place to grow up! Next you'll tell me that there's a meth problem and I will be equally shocked! Oh God, and then Leila and Laura are both getting emotional and crying. Can't Tyra invest in some Feliway or something?

The girls head out to West L.A. College where Johnny and the New Miss J. known as Jonte await them. Not to be outdone by his predecessor, Jonte is wearing a smiley face muumuu and riding hat. Photographer Sarah Silver is also on hand. For this shoot, the girls will be channeling sassy fashion cheerleaders with a top model spin. This entails being thrown up in the air, as demonstrated by Jonte. Sashay, Jonte, Jonte, Jonte, Jonte. Laura tells us that she's afraid of heights. Does this count as heights? As the girls get hair and makeup done, Kristin tells Johnny that she cheered for six years. I mean, of course she did. She knows that this is an advantage, since she can relax about the being thrown up in the air part and focus on modeling. Rob Evans shows up, because there's nothing that he loves more than upskirt views.

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America's Next Top Model




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